The Road to 1-0 Starts Here (Giants vs. Cardinals Preview)

It’s never a dull week on 1925 Giants Drive. While we seemingly had every opportunity to serve as background noise to this NFL season, the Giants instead opted to create a quarterback controversy, unceremoniously cut the most polarizing player in team history, and potentially lose the Joey Porter Jr. bidding war to the Dallas Cowboys. Needless to say, the fanbase is feeling some feelings heading into what many expected to be one of the least consequential games on the schedule.

Five months ago, any Giants fan who tuned into the 2026 NFL Schedule Release presented by DraftKings™ had this game penciled in as a win. I don’t need to outline the circumstances that have since changed, but needless to say, this one now feels pretty damn scary.

The NFL screenwriters have been trying to write Jacoby Brissett off for the better part of a decade, yet every time he’s a bad week away from hosting a podcast, he puts together some 5-touchdown, 400-yard game during the waning moments of RedZone that captures the hearts of the nation. Brissett’s ill-advised holdout attempt somehow earned him an incentive-based pay raise for the 2026 season. You can bet both ass cheeks that he sees this depleted secondary and underwhelming pass rush as a major opportunity to inch closer toward an eventual payday.

Michael Wilson and Trey McBride are going to be massive problems all afternoon. Expect the ball to come out quickly, with our corners diving at ankles or committing DPIs to prevent the big plays from piling up. We’ll need to hope and pray for more heroics from Jevon Holland to force a turnover or two, because I otherwise struggle to envision a world in which we don’t get dinked and dunked to death by this team.

On top of that, I’m desperately afraid we may serve as MCs for Jeremiah Love’s coming-out party. While the stats and usage probably leave something to be desired for all the fantasy footballers out there, this kid passes the eye test. Outside of the Rams mercifully bleeding out the clock, no team has consistently tried to run the football against us. Is that partially because you can easily pick on our corners? Sure. But if the Cards are able to generate explosive plays with Love early, I don’t see what stops them from going back to the well all afternoon.

While it’s easy to be pessimistic about the defense in its current state (see above), I’m looking forward to slowly being proved wrong as the year progresses. Let these young guys continue to struggle toward eventual improvement. Let our coaching staff demonstrate that they can make adjustments as the season progresses.

This is why I had no desire to send a second-rounder (and more) for a disgruntled Joey Porter Jr., who will inevitably bend us over the negotiating table all spring. I want to see how Reese matches up against Love. I want to see if Carter and Thibodeaux can step up in the absence of Brian Burns. And hey, if anyone can emerge from the DT or CB rooms as a long-term starter, that would be great, too.

On the offensive side of the ball, we desperately need to get the passing game going. We can’t rely on 30 consecutive 3-yard runs to score touchdowns, especially when we have a bad habit of tossing a negative play or penalty into the mix.

Jameis has left so much to be desired that we now have JJ McCarthy holding clipboards and painting his face on our sideline. But according to my trusted Twitter film guys (shoutout to Awthentik), this may be as much a Matt Nagy problem as anything else.

Can we have Malik Nabers run actual routes instead of these moronic manufactured touches that go nowhere? How have we gone this long without giving Malachi Fields a one-on-one or jump-ball opportunity? Our longest play from scrimmage this year was that broken 30-yard scramble drill to Skatt. We need to push the ball downfield as teams continue to stuff the box against our increasingly predictable run game.

If we’re able to generate big plays and win the turnover battle, we definitely have a good chance of winning this football game. While Arizona has slightly outperformed expectations, this isn’t exactly a juggernaut of an opponent.

Three weeks into the season, I’m not sure there are many juggernauts in the conference, and there are definitely none within our division. While I’m not trying to sell you on any sort of playoff run, going 1-0 this week gives us the opportunity to start getting a little delusional.

“Go 1-0 this week.”

I kinda like that. I should send the team some T-shirts or something.

Thanks for Keeping Us Loose, Boston!

WOOOOO! Nothing like the taste of warm coffee and dirty water (still don’t know what that means) the morning after sending your rivals packing. For the second night in a row, the New York Yankees completely dominated the Boston Red Sox, ending their October campaign on September 30th.

Without Roman Anthony (OUT – broken fingernail), Boston’s quadruple-A lineup didn’t stand a chance against Max Fried and his C+ stuff. I had quite the laugh upon realizing that the same Jahmai Jones who served exclusively as Stanton’s pinch runner during the 2024 season was now batting leadoff for the Sox in an elimination game. I half expected Tyler Wade to be batting cleanup, with Chase Headley waiting in the wings if we brought in a lefty.

I’m genuinely curious how many innings it would take this lineup to match the 18 runs we hung on them. I estimate it would be around 1,000 — give or take.

Speaking of old Yankees, shoutout to Sonny Gray — not only for pitching much better than I expected, but also for his touching tribute to Michael Pineda. Between the comically sideways cap and a borderline blackface amount of pine tar, I think he had Tracy convinced he was, in fact, Big Mike. So much so that the Boston skipper decided to yank his starter after 4.2 innings for the second night in a row.

Sox Twitter seems pretty pissed at Tracy, and I’m not totally sure why. Did he make a single good decision the entire (short) series? No. But after seeing what we did to Crochet and Whitlock, I’m not certain there were any good buttons to be pressed.

After the game, Sonny Gray said, “I would have liked to have been trusted in that moment,” but how can his manager truly believe the words of a man who has shied away from the big innings for the better part of a decade? The decision was clear and obvious — Tracy had no choice but to call upon his lefty specialist, Erik Miller, who struggled mightily against our lefties the night prior.

After an ill-advised Luis Rojas send killed the Yankee rally, it looked like Tracy’s gamble might pay off when Wilson Contreras ended Boston’s 26-inning playoff scoring drought with a solo shot to cut the lead to 2-1. Instead of building any sort of momentum for his own team, this jackass decided to literally walk around the bases, pissing off the Yankees while simultaneously making a total ass of himself.

Thankfully, his lackadaisical effort carried over to the field, as he decided to field a throw to first on the back-right corner of the bag, kickstarting the rally that would serve as the eventual nail in the Boston’s coffin.

That sixth inning was everything for me. Jones busting it out of the box on a strikeout and then stealing a pair of bags. Lombard drilling a single to right à la Jeter. Known speedster Trent Grisham bunting for a hit. A pair of sacrifice RBIs. And a vintage three-run porch job from Belli to put this team to bed.

I can’t speak any more fondly about what I’ve seen from the Yankee offense thus far. We’ve now seen both the righty and lefty renditions of the lineup, and both have sprayed the ball all over the park. Eighteen runs and 26 hits in 16 innings is nothing short of phenomenal. It finally feels like we’re scoring runs in a way that’s conducive to winning postseason games. There have been so few noncompetitive at-bats; everyone and their backup is up there grinding, and we’re still delivering the knockout-punch homers late.

I’m not naïve to the fact that the road ahead will be much more difficult, but having this sort of offensive momentum has me fully believing we have a shot at winning this thing.

Defeating Tampa will be no small task. Their manager doesn’t shelter an entire family of rocks between his ears, their lineup can actually score runs, and we’ll be forced to play baseball in that astroturfed hellhouse of theirs. While I don’t expect a walk in the park (not sure Tropicana fits that billing), I’m happy to be coming in red-hot rather than potentially over-rested.

So, thanks for keeping us loose, Boston! We hope to see you again in 2028! Enjoy Drake Maye’s unraveling and the impending Diana Russini tell-all interview!

Fuck Around and Find Out. Yanks in 2.

Despite the fact that you couldn’t have scripted a more perfect start to the postseason, I can’t say I’m surprised. In fact, I essentially leaked the game script yesterday. You could play this game 1,000 times, and it was always going to end with Cam Schlittler dominating this team. Last night just happened to be the 6.1 scoreless, 10-strikeout, 117-pitch variety, where you never felt for a second that Boston was going to break through.

While this may come across as a slight to Gerrit Cole and the aces of Yankees past, Cam just isn’t a guy you need to feign confidence in. He comes up big in these spots every single time. We are beyond lucky to have this lanky lunatic on our team. Having him pitch two games per series the rest of the way gives us a puncher’s chance against anyone.

Now how about that Yankee offense?

Despite things feeling tense with the game sitting at 1-0 heading into the fifth, you were getting great at-bats and contributions up and down the lineup. Austin Wells, a guy we all wanted replaced at the deadline—ironically by Adley Rutschman—comes up with the big RBI single early on. Anthony Volpe, who I hoped to never hear from again after the first day of the George Lombard experience, gets the hit to set the table earlier in that inning and is laying down sac bunts to help blow the game open.

And what else can you really say about Ben Rice?

Without Judge and Stanton for a majority of the year, the kid has carried this team from a power-hitting perspective and came up massive Tuesday night. A triple shy of the cycle in the bottom of the eighth, Benny Boy instead opted for the Grand Salami that officially put this one into complete laugher territory.

Ironically, the only guys who didn’t really join the party were the righties who played specifically to combat the left-handed starter. You’d be a rare breed of asshole to nitpick Boone on a night where he made 99% of the right calls—especially letting Cam go back out for the seventh—but this is definitely something to monitor as I’m unsure how much more “3-hole” Heliot Ramos I need these playoffs.

And just like that, we’re onto our old pal Sonny Gray.

Everyone knows the story by now. He was an abject failure in New York, the poster child for “the lights were too bright,” yet after exiling himself to Middle American Mediocrity Baseball for seven years, he emerges and suddenly wants to be a part of high-stakes innings again?

“I will say what did factor into my decision to come to Boston is it feels good to me to go to a place now where it’s easy to hate the Yankees.”

I know this pissed off some Yankee fans at the time, but honestly, all I can do is laugh at the poor guy. You can’t even be a little more demonstrative in your blatant pandering attempt?

It was always easy for you to hate us because that’s how your excuse-making, “why me?” brain works.

To anyone going to the game Wednesday: boo this man. He’ll push the bully/victim button regardless, so you might as well get under his paper-thin skin.

I’m glad the Red Sox “let you go out and be yourself.” I’m even more glad I get to witness you crap down your leg in an elimination game, in 4K nonetheless.

On the complete opposite side of the coin is Max Fried, who also came from a smaller market yet has lived up to the billing in his two seasons in New York. While Schlittler’s complete and utter dominance is a tough act to follow, I fully expect Max to mow down whatever is left of this anemic Red Sox lineup.

Even though Cam threw a ton more off-speed than we’re accustomed to, Fried still gives Boston a completely different look, mixing in three different breaking balls to go with a trio of fastballs. As long as he throws strikes, expect tons of soft contact and for him to go very deep into the game.

Boston will be feeling the pressure. You could argue Chad Tracy already was last night when he tried to steal outs with low-leverage bums after pulling Tolle in the fifth. Expect Whitlock and Chapman early, unless Tracy wants to continue saving them until next August, after the lockout ends.

Regardless of whatever kitchen sink is tossed our way, it is paramount that we close this team out tonight. We have much bigger fish to fry, and we need to be as healthy and rested as possible when we face a real challenge in Tampa.

Tonight it will be, and always has been:

Yanks in 2.

Fuck Boston, Cam Schlittler is on the Mound

Well, the day has finally come. The matchup we’ve long been anticipating, yet fully expected for months, has arrived. Tonight, the “Run It Back” Yankees hope to run back their 2025 Wild Card performance by once again eliminating the Boston Red Sox.

While the uniforms remain the same, the teams are both in drastically different places this time around. The Yankees are without their captain, yet have established a new identity centered around a dominant starting pitching staff. Locked into their playoff position, they’ve spent much of the past month working injured veterans back into their starting positions. Meanwhile, the Sox had bottomed out, ditched their longtime skipper, gone on one of the hottest hot streaks I’ve ever seen, and then returned to mediocre play over the final six weeks of the season.

Both sides have undoubtedly felt the extreme effects of the ups and downs that only a 162-game season can deliver. Both have faced their fair share of adversity and relied on major contributions from unsung heroes. And each fanbase should feel fully confident that their team’s A-game will result in the timely demise of their hated rival.

If you want to read more about Boston’s path to victory, maybe consult the nearest Bible or Quran, because there is not a chance in hell the Yankees lose to this rag-tag squad of losers.

As far as I’m concerned, the majority of the conversations focused on lefty/righty matchups, defensive replacements, and bullpen decisions are moot points. If the Yankees want to make any noise whatsoever this postseason, it is fully dependent on our starters shoving it up our opponents’ proverbial asses.

Looking at this Boston lineup, I fully expect all of our guys to go seven-plus, rack up Ks, and surrender one run or less. This, of course, all starts with the American League Cy Young winner: Cam Schlittler.

For those of you who may have forgotten one of the greatest closeout pitching performances in MLB history, what’d you get hit in the head? Cam walked onto the mound as a rookie, in a winner-take-all game, and went eight shutty with a 12-pack of strikeouts, sending his boyhood team packing to their syringe-covered beach of choice.

The city of Boston never fully recovered, as they have since spent the last 12 months writing fan fiction about him being some sort of Robot-Bully-Nazi. Then, the second my guy shoots off a joke reply on Twitter, you get little weirdos like Carrabis pushing narratives that Boston remains in his head.

That’s like Fireman Ed saying he makes Tom Brady nervous, only in Ed’s instance, he actually beat the Patriots once a decade. Schlittler has 39 Ks and a 0.56 ERA against Boston. That’s less than half the GPA of the dumbasses who choose to provoke the guy who has smoked them time and time again.

Payton Tolle seems like a good dude, but there are levels to this shit, and tonight, Schlittler adds yet another “Fuck Boston” performance to his resume.

Offensively, the Yankees lineup remains rough around the edges. It might get a little sweaty if they struggle to score early, given our historical struggles against the back of Boston’s pen—specifically, that actual scumbag, Aroldis Chapman.

Again, it’s not worth outlining who needs to get a big hit when, because we’re going to be platooning a number of positions and pinch-hitting in response to bullpen moves throughout this three-game set. Any reliance on guys who haven’t played in months (i.e., Stanton and Grisham) obviously doesn’t make you feel great, but we just need one or two guys to step up, and that should be all the run support we need to get out of tonight unscathed.

Despite the Judge story continuing to get more bizarre by the hour, he really should not be the concern over the next two days. While I’ve spent more time researching the effects of anti-gravity treadmills than I’d care to admit, we really don’t need to force another borderline-handicapped Kirk Gibson type into this lineup.

I’m confident Judge’s story still needs to be told and that he will be a contributor if this team ever does get over the hump. But that needs to remain a conversation for another day.

Tonight, the focus is Schlittler to Bednar to a 1-0 series lead and a closeout game against Sonny Gray. I know the Bronx will be rocking. I know Schlittler will deal. The only question that remains is which one of the Yankee bats hits that first bomb to kick off the festivities?

JJ McCarthy is a New York Giant. What the Fuck?

I guess that private workout on Easter Sunday made quite the impression on Joe Schoen. Of course, not enough to draft him fifth overall, but clearly enough to part ways with a fifth-round pick three drafts later.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my Titans recap, little did I know that Schoen and Harbs were working the phones trying to acquire the backup quarterback I was adamant we didn’t need. I knew the outcry to replace Winston was picking up steam, but hats off to all the internet trolls and unimaginative beat writers — you got your guy.

The good news is, we’ve seen plenty of successful restoration projects involving highly drafted quarterbacks over the past few years. The bad news is that these projects were primarily conducted by Kevin O’Connell — who apparently deemed the papier-mâché version of Carson Wentz more suitable to quarterback his team than JJ McCarthy.

However, McCarthy won a national championship primarily by handing the ball off and playing mistake-free football — thus making him a natural fit for our team. On the flip side, McCarthy has done nothing but lose and get injured throughout his career… thus making him a natural fit for our team.

Even though this wasn’t a move I wanted to make, I can’t bring myself to throw a complete tantrum over a fifth-round pick. Best-case scenario, he proves to be competent and we can flip him — or a cost-controlled Jameis — for a higher price this spring. Worst-case scenario, JJ flames out and we lose a pick Schoen would’ve airballed anyway.

While I can’t imagine he plays this week, if Winston delivers another dud against Arizona, the broccoli cuts will mobilize and demand that their guy sees the field sooner rather than later. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there is a world where our Week 5 matchup against Marcus Mariota and the Commanders becomes quite intriguing.

Well, At Least We’re Not the Titans (Week 3 Recap)

When wins are as uncommon as they are for the New York Giants, you learn to celebrate and appreciate each of them in their own uniquely disgusting way. After fighting desperately to fend off an offensively inept Tennessee Titans team, it’s safe to say that the season’s outlook is about as positive as New Jersey’s five-day forecast. With that being said, it still felt damn good to close out a game we’ve lost dozens of times over the past several seasons, with the chief architect of those collapses in attendance, no less.

Let’s start with the positives. It’s safe to say we’re a tier ahead of the complete embarrassments of the league. Being able to accumulate wins against the moronic teams is the easiest way to ensure you don’t become one. The expectation was that Harbaugh would bring in a general sense of competence that has been missing in East Rutherford for 3+ presidencies. Whatever he and Denard Wilson cooked up on defense completely stymied (potential bozo) Cam Ward for three quarters.

Sure, they ended up giving up three long drives in the second half, but they made the plays necessary to hold the Titans to just seven points. Even fully healthy, the defense was never going to be the strength of this team. We were always going to be reliant on time of possession and being opportunistic (i.e. sacks and turnovers) to prevent 30+ points from being put on the board. After two weeks in which the offense proved incapable of sustaining the long touchdown drives we mistakenly became accustomed to, it’s a positive sign that Jevon Holland and that unit have continued to make plays to keep us in games.

With that being said, we’re going to face 14 offenses that are much better than whatever the fuck “Tits McGee” cooked up on Sunday. The non-existent pass rush once again struggled mightily and is now going to be without Brian Burns for the remainder of 2026. It’s definitely going to be difficult to remain “Medium Pepsi” half-full when it comes to this side of the ball, so let’s just hope Arvell Reese strings together more awesome games and Colton Hood learns to swim after being prematurely chucked into the deep end.

I was so optimistic that the offense would look better after a week of developing and practicing a Jameis-centric game plan. I was very wrong.

While I liked the commitment to the run, watching Skat get hit at the line of scrimmage over and over again was a tough watch, to say the least. Aside from the drive where Najee Harris mutated into Derrick Henry, it felt like we were scratching and clawing for three yards per carry all afternoon. On the four occasions where this strategy actually moved the ball, Matt Nagy decided to have an aneurysm while making his red-zone play calls.

Jameis was, once again, horrible, and I’m not sure the weather can be blamed. I never thought I’d see the day when the man behind the NFL’s first and only 30 TD/30 INT season would neuter himself into such a pansy. There is nothing to be afraid of! You know how bad you’d have to play for us to turn to Jake Haener? My wife, who still doesn’t understand what “special teams” means, dropped a “This feels like Daniel Jones all over again” as Winston held the ball and ran into his third sack of the afternoon.

I remain confident that there are no real upgrades available or worth trading for in what is most likely a lost season (see defensive worries above). But if he continues to throw seven-yard four-seamers into the turf while refusing to get Nabers or Likely involved, the cries for Jimmy G and JJ McCarthy (edit: LOL) will only get louder.

I’ll close by giving the special teams their well-deserved flowers. Jordan Stout might be the greatest punter of all time. I’d give this dude a 10-year contract tomorrow. Him flipping the field repeatedly after our 3 and outs made all the difference in a game we literally won by seven yards.

Dominic Zvada also appears to be the long-term solution at kicker. It’s ironic that someone with his haircut has proven to be the remedy for our toxic kicking relationship, but the kid has an absolute boot and was completely unaffected by the porous MetLife conditions.

These are two seemingly minor improvements, but in a season where you lose your most important players on both sides of the ball three weeks in, it’s nice knowing that the other third of the game is seemingly in a good spot for years to come.

As pathetic as it sounds, these are the types of victories we’re going to have to learn to celebrate. We’re not going to win the Super Bowl and probably aren’t going to the playoffs, so we need to cherish these signs of competence and improvement that we were promised upon John Harbaugh’s arrival. Even if they are as minor as beating Bob Saleh, Brian Daboll, and the Tennessee Titans.

Dart’s Season is Over. Ours Isn’t.

Anyone who calls themselves a sports fan has experienced their fair share of agonizing defeats and borne witness to their favorite players suffering gruesome injuries. Despite my recent expertise in this field, Tuesday’s news that Jaxson Dart would undergo season-ending knee surgery hit me in a way I never could have anticipated.

Is this partially due to the fact that my imbecile of a GM assured me “he’s going to be okay” before parading him up and down the sideline like Weekend at Bernie’s? Sure. But this one stung particularly hard for a multitude of other reasons. I know it was only one week, but the victory over the Cowboys was the first actual indicator of true, sustainable success that this franchise has seen in over 15 years. Instead of being able to see this promising season through, we’re forced to spend the next 50 weeks debating whether or not that victory was a fluke, whether or not Dart is a franchise quarterback, whether or not we should draft his replacement, and whether or not John Harbaugh still has the coaching pedigree to weather this strong of a shitstorm.

This was supposed to be the year that made all of the suffering worth it. All the pieces were in place, the division was ripe for the taking, and instead of getting to experience the 18-week campaign to claim it, we got four fucking quarters.

As I sat on my bedroom floor, ignoring the slew of texts from friends and family and deleting all the social media apps from my phone, I, for the first time in my life, found myself contemplating, “Is this really worth it?” Why do I spend all of this time and energy hoping and praying for an outcome that very well may never come to fruition? Let’s save the $10.99 a month and cancel RedZone. Maybe spend my Sundays doing something productive. Perhaps finally take my wife pumpkin picking this fall.

But as Coach said Wednesday afternoon, “You feel like it’s the end of the world and then you wake up and the work’s not done. The world keeps spinning. The games keep getting played.”

Dart’s season might be over, but the team’s isn’t. We still have 15 games to play, and I intend on thoroughly enjoying the product we put on that field. I want to witness our young defensive pieces develop into franchise cornerstones. I want to see John Harbaugh close out games that we lead in the fourth quarter. I can’t wait to see Jameis sling the damn rock after we build a game plan that suits his skill set.

All of this starts when the ball gets kicked off Sunday against a pathetic Tennessee Titans team. I refuse to believe that game ends with Daboll and Saleh chest-bumping on the sideline. Those two putzes caused more than their fair share of pain and suffering around these parts. It’s time for this team to return the favor and punish them.

I’m not naïve to the fact that the ceiling of this season has been lowered, but listening to Jameis speak this week has me fully confident that we’ll be able to pummel any opponent of this quality. He wasn’t his typical goofy self; he understood the gravity of the situation. He not only understands that this will likely be his final opportunity to lead a team throughout the entirety of a season, but he fully grasps the fact that this fanbase needs to be picked up off the mat.

On a rainy Sunday in the Meadowlands, this team will have us believing once more.

I guarantee it.

Why Does God Hate ME? (Giants/Rams Recap)

After suffering through an offseason where every dickhead with a microphone couldn’t mention my quarterback without uttering the words “blue tent” or “if he can stay healthy,” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it a little humorous that just about every other young quarterback went down as my guy ascended to the tier of the elite. However, I deliberately refrained from any sort of grave dancing, in hopes that my non-participation in the Caleb Williams meme trend would generate some sort of karmic force that would protect my sweet baby boy all season long.

Unfortunately, my noble sacrifice was all for naught, as Dart would soon be sandwiched into a mid-air Michael Jackson move just seven plays into Monday night’s contest against the Rams.

We should’ve known better. Anyone who’s ever had the pleasure of experiencing an eight-day bender knows damn well that the other shoe will inevitably drop. As Giants fans, we rode the incredible high of one of the biggest wins of the decade, only to be hit with the euphoric comedown of yet another primetime embarrassment.

As I sat there contemplating the method by which I would burn our house to the ground, we slowly received positive bits of information from the ESPN broadcast. He walked off under his own power (still not making Caleb jokes — credit to me), wasn’t immediately taken to the X-ray room, and even appeared on the sideline in swaggy street clothes for much of the second half. Compared to the horrible thoughts we were all having, everything was going to be fine. Relatively speaking.

What was not fine was the performance that followed. Between the turnovers, dropped passes, and their fatso kicker shanking a field goal at the buzzer, the Rams gave the Giants ample opportunity not only to recover from the shock of Dart’s injury, but to remain in the game throughout the first half. But much like the dyslexic kid in your English class, the Giants never came close to capitalizing.

Jameis Winston was the darling of the offseason, somehow transforming his image from doofy bust to the Mr. Rogers of backup quarterbacks. So much so that the FIFA World Cup correspondent earned an extension that would keep him as the team’s QB insurance policy and comedic relief through the 2028 season. Winston’s relief appearance was so horrible that this unanimously praised move has now been added to Schoen’s ever-growing rolodex of questionable contract offers.

Where was that dominant rushing attack from Week 1? Was Dart’s cadence/threat to run the only thing propping up this house of cards that is a Matt Nagy offense?

When does this “elite” pass rush plan on pressuring the quarterback? Our corners were obviously outmatched. No one was expecting Colton Hood to put the straps on Davante in his first career start. So how about any one of the guys picked 15 minutes into the draft getting a hand on Stafford?

Most importantly, why does Harbaugh have a thousand-yard stare while our injured starters remain in an unwinnable game, only to get more injured? The fact that there was no room in the blue tent for Brian Burns because Andrew Thomas was already in there with four minutes left, down 28-6, is some sort of sick, Daboll-esque joke.

As embarrassing and familiar as that sequence of bullshit was, this doesn’t have to be the end of a season that was so promising (for eight whole days). This is why you brought in a John Harbaugh. Right the ship and win some ball games against some weaker, shittier-coached teams.

Hopefully, we’ve learned our lesson about sniffing our own farts a bit too hard after one week. I still believe in this team and know that the visibly rattled version of the Giants will be nowhere to be found come Sunday. Then, our hero Jaxson Dart will return on his white horse and lead the team back to the promised land.

UPDATE: I want to die. I hate everything. Sports suck.

Is this the Best Soccer Team Ever Assembled?

To be perfectly frank, I had every intention of taking the cynical prick approach to covering this World Cup, and more specifically, the US National Team. After watching a half-dozen iterations of this team fall flat on their faces, its natural for us as a nation to put our guard up and take the “I don’t give a shit about soccer” approach. And let’s be honest, this defense mechanism has served as better fortification than the washed up MLS Center Backs we’ve trotted out year after year.

But given our fortunate group draw and the fact we’re entering year 7 of the “golden generation”, I genuinely believed this team was capable of making a run. Of course, by “run” i meant eking out enough 1-0 victories and flukey draws to squeak out of the group stage, ultimately getting dominated in the knockout round by the first legitimate team we run into. A USMNT tradition like no other.

When I learned that Paraguay was some sort of defensive stalwart that locked down the likes of Argentina and Brazil in qualifying, I think it was fair to expect “the under” in an uninspiring, dull, 90-minute affair. As it turns out, this crazy, Argentine, Russell Crowe in Crocodile Hunter garb had other plans.

From the opening whistle, it was evidently clear that this was not your grandpa’s Men’s National Team. The run and gun offense on display was something straight out of a FIFA game played against said grandpa. The US team generated chance after chance, and before you knew it, they had equaled their goal total from last World Cup in a single half.

Nearly the entire first 45 minutes were played exclusively on the Paraguayan side of the field as the Americans drove up the sidelines at will. The same passes I’ve watched ricochet 10 yards off some bum’s shinguard were perfectly received. The usual attempts to break down defenders one on one ended in complete embarrassment, this time for our opponents.

Balogun’s second and Reyna’s exclamation point were two of the best finishes I’ve ever seen from American born players. The fact that we don’t have to rely on garbage goals, set pieces, and pure luck feels like such a game changer. On top of that, they can apparently use video review to combat the flopping nonsense that has plagued us for years? Are we going to fuck around and win this whole damn thing?

I’m obviously getting way ahead of my skis here but how can you not be inspired by the dominance we witnessed last night? This tournament only comes around every four years and who knows the next time we’ll have this crop of talent led by a seemingly competent manager. So why not get swept up in this team and choose to believe?

So with that, I’m hereby declaring independence from the “I’d rather find $20 on the ground than win the World Cup” crowd and buying the fuck in on this team. I’ve completed my own “Mistaken Identity” review of US Soccer and see now that we can hang 4 goals on anyone, at any time.

So take your much needed “Hydration Break” and use these next 6 days to retool and refuel. Because while I don’t know much about soccer, I know Friday is going to be a day to be an Australian…or a US Commemorative Michelob Ultra bottle.

A Nets Fan’s Open Letter to the New York Knicks

Over the last 2 months, the New York Knicks decimation of the Eastern Conference has taken the basketball world by storm and galvanized the entire tristate area in the process. If you’re wondering why you’ve never heard me talk about the Knicks to this point, it’s probably because you’ve never heard me talk about anything (see 12 subscribers). In all seriousness, I’ve avoided jumping onboard the “KNICKS IN 4” gravy train because I am a Brooklyn Nets fan.

Believe it or not, there is an extremely niche demographic of basketball fans that were born in the early 90’s, grew up in North Jersey, and fell in love with the back-to-back Eastern Conference Champion New Jersey Nets. Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin, and Keith Van Horn inspired my young self to go out back and chuck brick after brick against my poor, unsuspecting backboard.

While the team never had much success after those pair of Finals appearances, I still enjoyed watching all of the regular season games and donned a #15 jersey in whatever sport I played, in a desperate (failed) effort to embody the athleticism of Vince Carter.

By the time high school rolled around, the Nets were in the process of relocating to Prospect Heights, while the Knicks finally acquired some legitimate star power in the form of Amare Stoudemire and eventually Carmelo Anthony. Much of my Nets brethren converted to Knicks fans, leaving me and Derrick Favors alone on an island in the Prudential Center.

Despite this, I never had much, if any animosity towards the Knicks. Admittedly, this was largely due to the fact that they spent the rest of the 2010’s getting beat by Lebron and losing the draft lottery just like we did. My friends and I never spent any time or energy shit talking each other’s basketball teams simply because we were both falling on our faces in unison.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a great deal of satisfaction when KD and Kyrie stunningly chose the Nets over the Knicks in the Summer of 2019. Of course, it didn’t take long for me to be humbled by this morsel of success as the Stephen A’s and WFAN callers danced on the predictably early grave that our “super” team now resides in.

I can honestly say that is about as heated this rivalry ever got for me. We’ve spent the past half-decade amassing late 1st round draft picks and getting banged by the lottery. Meanwhile the Knicks completely reinvented themselves and play one of the more entertaining brands of basketball the association has to offer.

The two teams have seemingly never been competitive at the same time and therefore there are no playoff series or even significant regular season games that stick out to me. Above all, a majority of fans that sit on the opposing side of the hardwood most likely share the Yankee Stadium bleachers, MetLife parking lot, or garden ice with me.

What started as me rooting for Philly and Boston to die painful deaths eventually turned into some legitimate support for the Knicks over the past 4 playoff runs. While you won’t see me joining in on the overly performative postgame festivities outside the Garden or even feeling a fraction of the glee true Knicks fans feel after each victory, it’s hard for me not to get any enjoyment out of the fact that the city is embracing a winner that it truly deserves.

There may come a day when this fandom from afar transitions into a crosstown rivalry but today is not that day. Given the fact that I make up a somewhat significant portion of it, I feel authorized to speak on behalf of Nets Nation when I say, “Go Finish the Job”.

This city is too good of a sports town to be without a championship for this long.

Good Luck, and Bing Bong.

Welcome Home, Odell

Well, its officially official.  We brought our boy home.

With all of the unwarranted hate and negativity surrounding the team of late, the Giants brass was wise to pull the trigger on one of the easiest decisions they’ll be faced with this season.  Between the social clips that emerged from Brian Burns’ Celebrity Softball Game, and the impression our painfully unsubtle beat reporters were giving – it seemed as though Monday’s workout was all but a formality before the inevitable OBJ/Giants reunion.

While Odell’s tenure wasn’t all sunshine, lollipops, and blonde mohawks – enough time has passed where a majority of the fanbase appreciates just how special of a talent OBJ was.  His trio of 1,300+ yard seasons to begin his career was not just unprecedented, but almost unimaginable given the defensive, grind-it-out identity the Giants had prior to OBJ’s arrival. 

The combination of some insanely childish antics and a whole lot of losing would eventually sour Odell’s image in the eyes of the media and the drunk, semi-racist uncles of the tristate area.  While it’s easy now to look back at the last 15 years of dysfunction and realize it probably wasn’t all the best player on the team’s fault, it’s important to remember that at the time, the fanbase simply didn’t know how to handle losing.   

When OBJ was drafted, we had two Lomabardis that were yet to collect dust.  There was a widespread belief that we just needed to make the playoffs and have Eli do some wizard shit to win another Super Bowl.  As the years went on, these expectations slowly looked more and more like fan fiction.  Instead of making honest assessments of the roster, the fans and media united to alienate one of the only talented football players on our bad football team. 

Sadly, we’ve never learned from this failed exercise and have continued to let talent walk out the door, wrongfully labeling players as “distractions” and in Odell’s case a “locker room cancer”.  Hopefully, today’s signing helps put an end to this nasty, loser habit.

In his second stint with the Giants, OBJ is not expected to be a star player or even a starter.  He’s not going to demand targets, shed tears on the sideline, or livestream a therapy session with Lil Wayne.  There is no possible way his ego was not checked at the door when he found himself working out alongside Braxton Berrios and Juju Smith-Schuster.  He understands his role as a depth piece and is an instant upgrade over bums like Jalin Hyatt.

Most importantly, he can serve as a mentor to the young guys in the locker room.  Odell’s experience being built up as a superstar, only to be chewed up and spat out is beyond valuable to a team whose best players are currently going through eerily similar experiences.

While the parallels to Malik Nabers are the most obvious, I’m not overly concerned with the fact that he’s not rehabbing his knee fast enough for Pat Leonard’s liking.  I want him in the ear of Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter.

This duo has obvious star potential and are in the process of being torn down for absolute nonsense.  We can’t have their stories in NY end the same way as Odell, Saquon, and so many others.  I’m not looking for 1,200 yards and 10 TDs.  I just want to focus on football and not be dragged by the bullshit that has plagued us for the past 15 years.

So let’s get Jalin Hyatt $10,000 and a gig at the American Dream.  Let’s get #13 back in the end zone again.

Nothing Heals the Yankees Like the AL Central

In a world filled with so much doubt and uncertainty, it’s comforting to know that some things truly do stay the same.  While death and taxes are a bit of a drag, the Yankees’ continued domination of the AL Central is something that never fails to bring me immense joy.

For the second time this season, the Yanks ended a stretch of mediocre play by beating the brakes off the pitiful Kansas City Royals.  Wednesday Night’s 7-0 victory marks 14 straight wins against Kansas City.  This most recent dismantling officially capped off the season series in which New York outscored this “opponent” 50-10. 

Seeing “KC” on a baseball schedule represents so much more than a regular three-game stretch.  It personifies the term “get-right series”, in which wins are guaranteed to be added, and stats are guaranteed to be padded.  No matter how good or bad the Yanks are playing, you just know that in 72 short hours, the “Chase for 28” will be back on.

They should let the dorky dudes on one of those Queer Eye makeover Shows take BP against Bailey Falter and the boys to instill some much-needed confidence.  Perhaps we should consider allowing sick children the opportunity to pitch against the bottom of the Royals lineup in order to give them the strength and belief needed to overcome their terminal illnesses. 

If the sensation of beating the Royals could be taken in pill form, I fear there would be a global epidemic.

Much of this applies not just to Kansas City, but to the entirety of the AL Central.  Since 2006, the Yankees are 450-254 against this joke of a division.  That equates to .639 winning percentage, good enough for a ~103-win pace over this 20-year stretch.

The downside of this complete and utter domination is that we oftentimes leave these series thinking the team is better than it actually is.  Unfortunately, the real World Series contenders don’t play near cornfields.  While these wins are important in putting together a strong season, they are not necessarily indicative of postseason success.

That is of course unless the Yankees are fortunate enough to play one of these squads come October.  Since 2017, the Yankees have faced off against an AL Central foe seven times in the postseason.  The Yankees have won all seven series.

If you really want to put on your doomer glasses, you could say that pretty much any success this team has had over the past decade is at the expense of this band of mediocre baseball teams.

The model of beating up on bad teams and praying we draw an AL Central opponent in October keeps the fan base engaged but unfortunately has only led to one piece of hardware in the form of an AL Pennant.  This path to the 2024 World Series was of course made up exclusively of central foes.

While I constantly find myself ping-ponging between overconfident and overly cynical after these series, it’s hard to argue with the immediate impact.  The Yankees have climbed to within 1.5 games of Tampa Bay.  After this weekend’s edition of “A’s after Dark”, 6 of the team’s next 10 series are against this punching bag of a division. 

This should prevent the infamous “June Swoon” and allow the Yanks to reclaim the division lead by the All-Star Break.  Will this solve all of the team’s problems?  Of course not, but getting in position to skip the 3-game crapshoot wildcard round and hopefully match up against one of these putzes in the DS should remain the goal.

So let’s try our best to not get too high or too skeptical over this next month.  Enjoy the warm weather, hot dogs, and paper mache victories over our Middle-American friends.  Because regardless of the opposition, not all success needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

After all, that Gerrit Cole guy looked pretty good, huh?

Touch Grass. The Giants are Fine.

What was meant to be a quiet, uneventful, and productive Giants offseason has quickly flown off the rails after this weekend’s shocking news out of East Rutherford. For the first time in NFL history, a Republican and Democrat player share a Locker Room. Disturbing and disgusting, I know.

Obviously the so-called “journalists” and Twitter Bots had a field day as Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter’s non-tiff went public. The mentally-ill on both sides of the spectrum planted their flags on opposing sides of the line of scrimmage as both of the team’s 2025 1st Rounders were torn apart by the biggest losers the internet has to offer.

I’ll say this as clearly as possible - If you’re offended by either side of this, you are the fucking problem. You’re a pleb whose been programmed to have a visceral reaction to anything that opposes whatever side of the coin your twitter algorithm realized you’re dumb enough to support.

If you want to keep mainlining the diarrhea soup the news feeds you, so be it. But if you support this team and find yourself arguing in the comment section of anything related to this, just know you’re no fan, you’re an opp.

You’re adding fuel to the fire of something that was a non-issue for the first 100 years of NFL football. In every real-life setting, you’re going to encounter people with upbringings and sets of beliefs that differ from your own. Odds are you’re going to have to communicate and collaborate with these people in order to find success or accomplish a common goal.

This team has more promise than ever and is preparing for its best season in 15 years. Don’t let hate mongers and social media bullshit ruin it. Because unlike you twitter dorks, these guys of some of the most physically talented, mentally disciplined individuals on the planet. They’re going to figure it out, no matter how badly the football hating pansies want to pull them apart.

If you don’t like anything you’ve read today, get fucking lost. We’re here to talk ball and support the Giants, not some grifting political party.

The Yankees Can’t Keep Ignoring the Warning Signs

A brutal Subway Series collapse exposed problems the Yankees can no longer ignore

Well, we’re one day removed from suffering an early “worst loss of the season” contender at the hands of the crosstown rival, New York Mets.  If we’re being honest, it seems as though they’ve gotten the better of the Yankees in a majority of these Subway Series matchups.  While we can usually brush off a series loss in the infancy of a season with the predictable, yet lame “This is your World Series” excuse – this one just feels different. 

This is largely due to the fact that the Mets are in the midst of a season from hell.  This is an organization that watched beloved core players walk to greener pastures so they could spend Uncle Creepie’s schmeckles on aging, underperforming, hired bums.  It was only a few weeks back that this team suffered a franchise-tying 12-game losing streak which doesn’t include a separate 3-game sweeping at the hands of the vaunted Colorado Rockies.  Simply put, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong for a franchise that has had their fair share of miserably embarrassing stretches over the years.

So when Tyrone “3 for his last 32” Taylor steps up to the dish with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, there wasn’t a soul in that building that expected him to come through in the clutch.  Not only did Taylor send Bednar’s (inexplicably dumb!) first-pitch curve to Astoria, but he potentially rerouted the entire 2026 Yankees campaign in the process. 

If you get miraculously beaten by a team that was 0 for their last 91 in games they were trailing through 8 innings, what does that make you?  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but Sunday’s loss will leave a stench of “they’re gonna blow this one” on this team for the remainder of the season.

Something needs to be done about the bullpen immediately.  Last season, Bednar earned a ton of goodwill simply because he was a human being not named Devin Williams.  This year, he’s given up earned runs in 9 of his 20 appearances and has flushed all the trust he was wrongfully awarded down his parent’s Pittsburgh Potty.

Doval; the prematurely crowned “set-up man”, has been even worse.  This leaves any and all late inning pitching responsibilities in the hands of Fernando Cruz, Tim Hill, and Brent Headrick.  This trio has performed admirably, but to expect this consistency for another 115 games is equal parts unfair and moronic.

While I fully understand that teams aren’t going to easily part with bullpen arms while they remain within the clusterfuck that is the May Wild Card Race, I think it’s time to start extending godfather offers to some of the bottom feeders.  There is no room for both Jones AND Dominguez in the near or distant future.  This isn’t an easy decision by any means, but if you need to ship one of these kids off for a proven closer, make the move.

I’ll do my part and butcher whatever woodland creatures Matt Blake deems necessary to perform his black magic on this year’s class of 5.00 ERA relievers.  But I need it to happen immediately, not in July.  So, make the calls Cashman and I’ll start drawing the pentagrams.

While you’re on the line, some sort of competition at the catcher position would be nice.  Either give Escarra real reps to see if he can fill the black hole in the lineup, or get someone (ideally a righty) who can play the position.  You truly don’t know how good you have it, until you’re willing to name your first-born “Higashioka” if it meant the “Home Run Stroka” would walk through those doors.  While Volpe has served as the team’s whipping boy for the past couple of years, Wells has been equally disappointing and is equally undeserving of being penciled into his starting role.

Aside from that, we need to get our big guys back on the damn field.  The June Swoon has come a month early and scheduled PTO needs to end.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why we’re having Cole throw 90 pitches a start in “Cinco De Mayo” alternate jerseys when Rodon is up here playing wall ball with the backstop.  The team needs juice and intensity.  Let’s wrap up the purely precautionary Caballero stint, get Stanton on a yoga regiment, and cancel Cole’s next rehab start in Antelope, Oregon.

I swear that I’m not normally the suburban WFAN Caller – but when the narrative surrounding the Yankees is “they only beat bad teams” and then you get absolutely pantsed by a rival bad team, change needs to be made.  We’re looking at a month long stretch of games that starts with the Jays and Rays (obvious divisional significance), followed by a clump of teams right in the thick of AL Wild Card contention.  These games will ultimately decide who and where we’re playing come October.

Learn from years past.  Don’t let early season success and shitty American League records fool you into thinking you’re better than you are.  This weekend’s gut punch was long overdue and its time to make the necessary changes to ensure this season doesn’t end the same as the last 15.

New York Giants 2026 Schedule Preview

With the big NFL schedule release set for 8:00 PM tonight, the Giants naturally decided to leak theirs 10 hours prior.  I’m of the belief that going through the games and predicting wins and losses is one of the more useless exercises since the invention of the shake weight.  So instead, I’m going to quickly give my gut reaction to any storylines, matchups, or potential playoff implications for all 18 weeks of Giants football.

Week 1 – Dallas Cowboys (Sunday Night Football)

This is THE stereotypical Week 1 SNF matchup.  At first glance, there is instant PTSD from the 40-0 drubbing from 3 years back. But believe it or not, there was a time we won these games.  The amount of instant hype that would surround this team with a win is almost inconceivable.  Harbaugh has fixed the Giants!  Is Jaxson Dart a dark horse MVP?  Is New York this year’s first to worst Super Bowl run?  This all sounds great, but anyone who follows this team knows we haven’t beat Dak since 2016.  A loss looms even larger based on our week 2 matchup.

Week 2 - @ Los Angeles Rams (Monday Night Football)

Back-to-back primetime games will either make or break the general perception of this team.  Given the quality of opponent in these two matchups, its fair to be a little weary of this reality.  As if the Dallas offense wasn’t a tough enough test for a defense that struggled mightily in 2025, the Rams present matchup nightmares across the board.  Quite frankly, I don’t see how our corners hold up against Stafford, Puka, and Davante.  But if we’re able to at least play somewhat respectable defense in this matchup, we should be extremely optimistic about Dennard Wilson and the young pieces moving forward.

Week 3 – Tennessee Titans

Brian Daboll and Robert Saleh make their non-triumphant returns to beautiful Metlife Stadium…along with Wandale, Flott, Bellinger, Schlottmann, Bricillo, and Tierney to name a few.  Aside from this being one of the weaker opponents on paper, this is one you really need to win to truly feel like we’re moving in a positive direction.  I’m so tired of guys who flamed out here having success elsewhere.  Heaven forbid we lose this game and potentially fall to 0-3, things will get ugly immediately and there is a real chance the season falls off the tracks.

Week 4 – Arizona Cardinals

I can’t say this one moves the needle a ton for me.  I guess I’m excited to see Jeremiah Love?  Will Jacoby Brissett continue the most random, unwarranted hold-out in NFL history?  Who the fuck cares, win the game.

Week 5 - @ Washington Commanders

Wouldn’t it be nice to start sweeping this team again?  Sadly we’ve been on the receiving end of said sweeps the past two years.  Washington’s defense is also revamped and no longer consists exclusively of dinosaurs.  This includes Sonny Styles who will be compared to Arvell Reese for as long as the two remain in the division.  Should the Giants have opted for the more traditional LB at pick 5?  Let’s shut that down immediately and pray for a big game against Jaden Daniels – a QB we consistently struggle to get to the ground.

Week 6 – New Orleans Saints

I HATE that Tyler Shough is somehow more well regarded than Dart.  He pads his stats against the Dolphins, Jets, and Titans and all of the sudden he’s Drew Brees.  Meanwhile our guy consistently lights up top defenses and gets the reject-Jackass cast member label.  These two matchups against the 2025 QB Class are beyond significant for the narrative surrounding Dart and more importantly, my own mental sanity.  At the same time, Kellen Quinn has seemingly always had our number and beat our brains in with Spencer Rattler at the helm.  It won’t be easy, but I’d love to put both of these storylines to rest.

Week 7 - @ Houston Texans

As mentioned above, Dart played fairly well against strong defenses in 2025.  Ideally, with a healthy supporting cast, an extra year of experience, and a more competent coaching staff, that trend continues.  I don’t fully know what direction Houston is heading, but given the Sophomore and Junior year slumps for Stroud, it would be nice to see Jaxson give the fanbase confidence that his arrow is pointed in a positive direction.  Also, an obligatory FUCK ALTUVE.

Week 8 – BYE

This feels like a nice spot for the bye!  Ideally, the season isn’t over and maybe, just maybe we’re above .500 and prepping for a run at the playoffs.  On the slightly pessimistic side of the coin, this may be an opportunity to greenlight Malik Nabers for said playoff push following news of a second procedure on the surgically repaired knee.

Week 9 - @ Philadelphia Eagles

If you’ve made it this far, I don’t need to tell you about how difficult of a matchup this will inevitably be.  No matter how good, bad, or scummy the Eagles team, the Linc has been a house of horrors for the G-Men (we’ve lost 13 straight).  I’m by no means guaranteeing victory, but it sure helps that we’re coming off a bye and that Dart and Skattebo have beaten them before.  Here’s hoping last season’s dysfunction bleeds into 2026.

Week 10 – Washington Commanders (Thursday Night Football)

Thursday Night Football always sucks but I feel like we got some seriously good luck here!  It’s a divisional foe that you should be comfortable game planning against, and 2 games in 4 days isn’t as tough of a pill to swallow when we had a bye the week prior. 

Week 11 – Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jags were last year’s new coach, 4 to 13 win team that we’d very much like to replicate.  I can’t really muster up much animosity towards this team because they simply are the Jaguars.  They have a hepatitis ridden swimming pool where we have $600 seats.  They’re a goofy, non-football town and we quite frankly need this more.  No hard feelings, I will be pulling for them in the AFC Wild Card Game that they will inevitably lose.

Week 12 - @ Indianapolis Colts

Well, well, well, we meet again Daniel Jones.  I don’t have as much vitriol towards our mouth-breathing bust of franchise quarterback as most, but the whole “The Giants let this guy walk?” while we were going through our Russell Wilson phase did irk me.  He’s closing in on $200M in career earnings despite winning 32 football games.  While Indy did look strong prior to DJ’s 3rd season-ending injury, this is another one I’d really like to win strictly for the pettiest of reasons.

Week 13 – San Francisco 49ers

This probably the toughest home game of the season.  The Niners are the consistent class of the NFC and present a rushing attack that will be difficult to stop.  If we can hang with these guys in December, I’ll be super pleased.  If our run defense continues to operate primarily as a sieve, then expect a rough, cold day for the Metlife faithful.

Week 14 - @ Seattle Seahawks

Facing off against the defending Super Bowl Champions in one of the most difficult places to play is far from ideal.  But who knows, the Giants have actually beaten Seattle the last two times they’ve faced off against the 12th man and their artificially pumped-in crowd noise.  Their stout defense starts in the interior, with Byron Murphy and our old friend Leonard Williams.  Ideally Mauigoa proves to be a stalwart at guard by this point in the season, and maybe Harbaugh squeezes something extra out of JMS and Runyan.  If not, this will be a difficult (but important) test for Mbow, JC Davis, and whoever else is thrown into the fire.

Week 15 – Cleveland Browns

Gun to my head, I couldn’t tell you who will be playing QB for the Browns at this point in the year.  There’s no way Deshaun lasts 15 weeks right?  But can’t you say the same about the Sanders circus?  Whichever side of the dice the Browns land on, the focus is and always will be the handling of Miles Garrett.  I imagine Nagy will alternate chipping the life out of him with Ricard and Skat until he decides “Ehh I don’t need to chase my own sack record”.

Week 16 - @ Detroit Lions (Monday Night Football)

It’s no secret, the Lions took a major step back last season.  Is it out of the realm of possibility that the Dan Campbell experience is getting stale?  The Winston-led Giants nearly beat them in Detroit last season, until the aforementioned Campbell remembered he had Jahmyr Gibbs on the roster.  I could be talking crazy, but depending on how the NFC North shakes out, this could have some serious NFC Wild Card Implications.  I may be shooting too low, but I really just want this game to matter and not serve as another clip farming excursion for Jaemis and Co.

Week 17 - @ Dallas Cowboys

Again – is this for one of the final playoff spots in the NFC?  Sign me the fuck up.  I want Taylor Swift level coverage of Jerry while we eliminate his overrated, underperforming roster.

Week 18 – Philadelphia Eagles

Another thought exercise – what if the season exceeds the most delusional of expectations and this one is for the division?  While history points to this being a rock fight between backup quarterbacks that we win and screw up our draft position – what if this year is different?  What if Harbaugh does come in here and have us playing like the Giants of old?  What if Dart takes the year two jump and doesn’t look back?  What if the crowd no longer needs to be prompted to stand on third down because we have the most violent pass rush in the league?  Sounds pretty nice doesn’t it?

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I’m well aware that a lot will change between now and September.  The line between speculation and fan fiction was definitely blurred, but that’s exactly what this time of year is for!  At a bare minimum, fans should be excited that we didn’t get completely banged this time around.  No international games, not a ton of primetime, a well-placed bye!  Let’s get enthusiastic about this next chapter of Giants football because that’s what we do.

So buy a ticket to a winnable game, put in some irrational futures, and get hyped!  In 4 short months, you won’t have to read about how the season will go in a shitty sports blog.  You’ll be able to witness it with your own two eyes.

Enjoy your summers everyone.  Lets Go Big Blue.

Giants Offseason Scenarios, Part 1: The Chalk Zone

A thought exercise in continuity, trench investment, and restraint.

Rather than let my creative bug-bite heal during the six weeks leading up to free agency, I figured I’d take this opportunity to work through a number of different offseason scenarios for the 2026 New York Giants.

These proposed trajectories aren’t meant to be predictions, nor “what I would do” if I were in Joe Schoen’s tiny shoes. I’m simply aiming to lay out as many different scripts as possible in order to better determine the best path forward for the franchise.

DISCLAIMER(S):

• Given the fact I don’t practice witchcraft or have access to any ancient tomes, I am forced to project on contract values. These won’t be perfect, but they should be in the ballpark and therefore beneficial to this exercise.

• Generally, cap hits are lower than the AAV in the first year of new deals. I’ve included “Year 1 Cap Hit” next to each signing to keep things organized.

• I’ve only included our 1st and 2nd round draft picks in this scenario. It’s fairly unrealistic to expect immediate production from 4th, 5th, and 6th rounders. I’m also not enough deep enough in draft prep to confidently give you a bunch of random names.

• If you have any other complaints/gripes beyond this, please feel free to follow me on Twitter/X and tell me how much of an idiot I am.

Scenario 1: The Chalk Zone

I wanted to start by focussing on a combination of some of the more obvious moves in Schoen’s arsenal. This outline mainly focuses on running it back with UFAs, while bringing in a few Harbaugh guys to round out the roster.

I’ve chosen to really emphasize bolstering trenches in an effort to back up all the hard nosed, meatball, football vernacular that has been floating around 1925 Giants Drive over the past few weeks.

I’d say this reality has so many probable moves that it’s borderline unrealistic — thus being deemed the “Chalk Zone”. Enjoy.

Cap Space/Roster Cuts

The Giants currently sit with roughly $8 million in Cap space heading into the offseason. Per OTC, “simple restructures” to established players with multiple years remaining in their current deals (i.e. Thomas, Lawrence, Adebo) can result in an additional $61 million being created.

The Giants have a rookie QB and a GM in hot water. I’m going to operate under the assumption that proverbial can is kicked fairly faar down the road in an effort to register some wins in 2026.

Speaking of kicking, let’s get to some no-brainer cuts:

• CUT Graham Gano (Injured, Expensive) - $4.5 Million Saved

• CUT James Hudson (Ass, Expensive) - $5.5 Million Saved

• CUT Devin Singletary (Expensive, Depth at Position) - $5.25 Million Saved

• CUT Jalin Hyatt (Ass, Personal Hatred) - $1.5 Million Saved

• CUT 8 Guys we Brought in to Fill out the Roster in 2025 (Brade, Payton, Tuipoloto, Swayze-Bozeman, Leal, Cambre, Hudson) - $1-1.1 Million Saved Each

These moves will probably be consistent across all the scenarios we run through. Any other cuts, trades, extensions are fairly consequential and will require additional consideration when reconstructing the roster. For instance, what if Bobby Okereke is cut (additional $9 Million saved)?

Okereke’s Giant career has been extremely up and down. His play has fallen off considerably after a dominant year 1 under former defensive coordinator, Wink Martindale.

Linebacker is one of the Giants’ weakest position groups, so while cutting the team’s best LB isn’t ideal, it’s a position that can be filled with an additional body or two using the additional funds.

So — after the restructures, cuts, and starting cap space, that puts us at $103.35 Million to spend on the 2026 season. Let’s subtract the estimated cost of our current draft picks ($15.7 Million) to give us roughly $88 Million to play with.

Free Agency/Draft

• RESIGN Wan’Dale Robinson (WR) - 4 Years, $60 Million ($12M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • It makes perfect sense for Joe Schoen to retain one of the best draft picks of his tenure. Unfortunately for the Giants’ Front Office, Robinson is coming off a career year, so the cost of the slot receiver increased significantly as he compiled statistics in a lost season.

• RESIGN Cor’Dale Flott (CB) - 4 Years, $39 Million ($8M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • Flott is arguably the best developed player selected by this regime. Despite his limited size/physicality, he’s made great strides in coverage each year and has completely surpassed Deonte Banks on the depth chart.

• RESIGN Daniel Bellinger (TE) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($4M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • With only Theo Johnson and the unproven Thomas Fidone remaining in the TE Room, it makes sense to bring back Bellinger on a team friendly deal. The low price tag seems realistic given the limited offensive statistics.

• RESIGN Jermaine Eluemunor (RT) - 3 Years, $54 Million ($15M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • It’s time to pay the piper for the best RT this team has seen in a decade. He seemingly enjoys playing here and I struggle to find a comparable tackle available at this price tag.

• RESIGN Micah McFadden (LB) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($3M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • One of the aforementioned LB bodies that can be filled using some of the Okereke money. I don’t think this deal will cost too much given McFadden missed virtually all of the 2025 season.

• RESIGN Casey Kreiter (LS) - 1 Year, $2 Million ($2M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I don’t recall any egregiously bad snaps during his tenure. Makes sense to me.

• SIGN Tyler Linderbaum (C) - 4 Years, $80 Million ($17M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • One of 2 Harbaugh guys that twitter keeps linking to the Giants (Likely being the other). I opted for Linderbaum here because I want to build a bad ass offensive line that fits the image and identity of our new coach/savior.

• SIGN Patrick Ricard (FB) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($3M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • The erection I have when imagining Skattebo and Ricard in the Power I is almost indescribable.

• SIGN Zion Johnson (G) - 3 Years, $28 Million ($8M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I liked Zion coming out of the draft and while he hasn’t fully lived up to his full potential in LA, he’s only 26 years-old and offers a budget friendly option to replace Van Roten (UFA) or Runyan (‘27 Expiring Contract/CUT Candidate).

• SIGN Devin Lloyd (LB) - 3 Years, $60 Million ($15M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I needed to land at least 1 big fish to improve a defense that struggled mightily against the run. Lloyd serves as an improvement in that department and offers a ton in the coverage department.

• DRAFT Caleb Downs (S) - 5th Overall

  • The Giants desperately need a playmaker in the secondary. Given we have our Quarterback, Tackles, and Pass Rushers in place — I could really care less about “positional value”. Similar to the Lloyd addition, get me the stud who can play both the run and the pass.

• DRAFT Peter Woods (DT) - 37th Overall

  • Like the entire Clemson Team, Woods’ draft stock has plummeted as a result of a horrible 2025 season. If this kid slips to the 2nd, I wouldn’t hesitate to pounce on an elite talent at a position of need.

Summary/Recap

Offense:

• Dart, Winston - QB

• Skattebo, Singletary - RB

• Ricard - FB

• Nabers, Slayton, Wandale - WR

• Johnson, Bellinger, Fidone - TE

• Thomas - LT

• Runyan - LG

• Linderbaum - C

• Zion Johnson - RG

• Eluemunor - RT

I love this group. Outside of Runyan, the line will be set for the entirety of Dart’s rookie deal. Mbow and JMS probably leave a bit to be desired in terms of depth, but ideally Schoen can add more young players to develop in the later rounds of the draft.

The real weakness here is the depth of receiver room. After the three guys shown, there really isn’t much in terms of experience or ability to separate. This is definitely concerning if Nabers is not fully healthy to start the season.

Regardless, the identity of this offensive group will be the run.

Defense:

• Burns, Carter, KT, Golston - EDGE

• Dex, Alexander, Woods, Robertson-Harris - DT

• Lloyd, McFadden, Muasau, Board - LB

• Adebo, Flott, Phillips, Banks - CB

• Holland, Downs, Nubin - S

This defense should be improved, particularly against the run. Depth at DT and LB remain a concern, but if Downs can play downhill as well as I expect, hopefully it’s at least serviceable.

The same goes for the secondary. It’s essentially the same unit with Caleb Downs. I’m really banking on Dennard Wilson to implement an actual scheme and get the most out of these younger players.

It’s still far from perfect, but if they’re even marginally improved, the Giants should be able to win a few more games behind this possession/run-focused offense.

Specials:

• Kreiter - LS

• Gillan - P

• Sauls - K

Hopefully Sauls is actually good. Regardless, I wouldn’t hate using one of our three 6th rounders on a kicker and/or punter.

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If you enjoyed this thought exercise and want to see more, let me know! I’d love to implement any sort of feedback in future iterations of this series.

Let’s Go Giants. Speak Soon.

Everyone Feels Certain. Championship Weekend Rarely Is.

Cold Weather, hot takes, and two games that won’t behave

Over the next 48 hours, the combination of blizzards, frigid temperatures, and even colder football takes will keep a large portion of the country trapped indoors. Before you end up brawling an old woman at Costco over a box of frozen pizzas, take a deep breath and realize that being snowed in for Championship Sunday is a small miracle in itself.

So stock up on beer, cook some Italian food, and prepare for the real battle — Sunday’s slate. Because while weathermen and ESPN “analysts” will deliver takes with absolute certainty, certainty is usually the first thing to fall apart on weekends like this.

Patriots at Broncos

Everyone is far too focused on Jarrett Stidham starting for the injured Bo Nix. Sean Payton had late-stage Drew Brees throwing for 4,000 yards despite being physically incapable of pushing the ball more than 15 feet downfield. Drawing up a simple game plan for “Stiddy” and asking the eight-year veteran to play competently enough to win is not nearly as far-fetched as people are making it out to be.

This is Stidham’s third season under Payton. He knows the offense, he’s had a full week to prepare, and he’ll be fine. If you’re looking for the lazy “backup quarterback, season over” narrative, I’d suggest getting your sports takes from homeless men or Craig Carton.

The story that actually matters here is that the façade of the Denver defense has completely faded. Had it not been for timely turnovers and a collection of Josh Allen fuck-ups, the Broncos would’ve been 50-pieced at home last week.

The Patriots get crushed for their weak strength of schedule, but is it possible this Denver defense is the product of playing equally feeble competition?

Denver fattened up on one-possession wins against the Titans, Jets, Giants, Raiders (twice), Commanders, and a Mahomes-less Chiefs team. Say what you will about New England’s opponents, but they rarely played with their food — and the result was a potential MVP quarterback. Meanwhile, Denver boasts a statistically solid defense that allowed 450 yards to Josh Allen on a bad day (understatement of the century).

I’m also not buying the “Patriots never play well at Mile High” storyline. Bill Belichick (and Tom Brady, for that matter) are off chasing fifth-year sorority tail. Prime Von Miller is not running out of that tunnel. This historical nonsense is irrelevant.

My focus is on how easily the New England running backs can rip off chunk plays. TreVeyon Henderson might end up hitting his head on the goalpost if he sees the same holes Denver allowed last weekend. While it may be tempting to further cement Drake Maye’s MVP case (votes already in, I know), Mike Vrabel would be wise to lean on the run game and protect a quarterback who is averaging almost a fumble per quarter this postseason.

Bottom line: If the Patriots avoid turnovers, they can absolutely put up the 30-plus points needed to outscore Stidham and company. But if this turns into a rock fight — or even a moderately high-scoring game — Denver is far more live than people want to admit.

Rams at Seahawks

Everyone knows the surface-level script here. Divisional rivals. Split the regular season series. Toss-up. Blah blah blah.

The crazy narrative in this game is just how universally disrespected Sam Darnold is. I’d call him polarizing, but that’s not accurate. The consensus seems to be that he still just flat-out sucks.

After flunking out of Adam Gase’s failed attempt at the Manning Passing Academy, Darnold has been passed around the league like a collection dish at church. I get it — his face is stupid and he got mono at 26 — but the guy has now posted back-to-back 14-win seasons on two different teams and is still used as Exhibit A for why Seattle can’t win a championship.

Darnold ranks fifth in the league in passing yards. He keeps winning games while people explain why those wins don’t count, usually while making the same stale, soulless ginger jokes.

Despite not doing his damage off-script, I imagine Kubiak and Darnold were licking their chops after watching the Rams’ secondary unravel in the second half last week. Expect Darnold and Jaxon Smith-Njigba to find success at all three levels and put points on the board Sunday night.

On the other sideline stands Matthew Stafford — not just top five in passing yards, but the league leader in 2025. Sean McVay wears a Super Bowl ring largely because of Stafford’s greatness, but the future Hall of Famer hasn’t played up to his standard this postseason.

Whether it’s a lingering finger issue from the Carolina game or just age showing up at inconvenient times, the 37-year-old has been uncharacteristically inaccurate in key stretches. McVay’s early-down pass obsession and near-total abandonment of the run nearly cost the Rams last week. He can’t repeat that mistake.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. The Rams are going to need points to win, and simply spamming Kyren Williams and Blake Corum probably won’t cut it against a dominant Seahawks defense.

Bottom line: The Rams can’t afford to fall behind early. The home crowd will become a problem, and I don’t trust an injured Stafford to engineer a double-digit comeback. Meanwhile, Darnold must avoid the catastrophic mistakes that defined the early part of his career. I don’t think he’s that quarterback anymore — but if everyone else is right, expect a heavy dose of Syndrome in your Twitter timeline.

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In a season as wide open as any I can remember, all four semifinalists have absorbed their fair share of skepticism. But conference championships aren’t decided by hot takes, mainstream discourse, or the vibes you have on a Thursday afternoon.

Championship games are predictably unpredictable. They are decided by the thinnest of margins and will reward the side that remains composed, patient, and resists the urge to get too cute when the going gets tough. Who is going to the Super Bowl? I can’t wait to find out.

Stay warm. Savor each snap. Enjoy the games.

Jaxson Dart’s Brain isn’t Broken — Yours Is

This discourse needs to be put into the blue tent…for good.

“He lives in the blue tent!”

“He needs to learn to protect himself!”

“Injury Prone!”

This narrative wasn’t created by doctors. It was invented by the most unintelligent football fans you know, and echoed by the dumbest media personalities we’ve got.

From his very first start, Jaxson Dart has been unfairly profiled as some sort of invalid who suffers Antonio Brown-level brain damage each time he touches the turf. Despite instantly transforming an offense that has been anemic for the better part of a decade, his reputation as “Blue Tent Guy” has somehow proceeded all on field success.

Somewhere along the line, this stupid fucking tent became the main character in Dart’s story, rather than the faulty piece of medical equipment it was designed to be.

A massive run called back on a bullshit penalty? That mix of disappointment and fatigue is misdiagnosed as brain damage. Into the tent.

First and goal, QB Draw for no gain. A Washington player is injured on the play. Lets throw Dart in the tent for good measure while Jonathan Vilma has a conniption about designed quarterback runs.

Of course, our former head coach didn’t help. Daboll’s clown-like sideline antics were nationally broadcast streamed for the entire country to see. Him barging into the much-maligned piece of tarp had every stay-at-home doctor, hall monitor, and mall cop up in arms.

For some nonsensical reason, our own fans latched onto this lazy, low-hanging-fruit narrative — blaming Dart’s usage in the run game as the reason for the team’s failures. Let’s ignore the blown leads, a putrid defense, and general organizational incompetence, and instead point fingers at the play style of the only competent QB we’ve seen since..what, 2015 Eli?

Media perception only hardened as every Tom, Dick, and Stephen A. with a microphone misinformed the masses that blue tent evaluations = violent concussions.

By this logic, my 5-year-old nephew is one pillow fort away from CTE.

The reason I’m re-pissed off about this nonsense is because its now costing our franchise quarterback well earned awards and recognition. Tyler Shough seems like a nice guy, but him getting the PFWA All-Rookie nod over Dart is an absolute joke.

Dart posted significantly better Pass EPA, Rush EPA, and QB Success Rate, with 11 more touchdowns. One quarterback is propped up for bullying the Titans and Jets; the other is penalized for his over competitiveness and non-injuries.

If Drewski or some other cornball celebrity tries to give the PA Award to someone else, I hope Eluemunor power-bombs them.

While individual awards don’t ultimately matter, this snub proves that the noise around Dart isn’t harmless anymore.

What if that Washington game — where Dart was sidelined for the potential game-tying, goal-line sequence — was for a playoff spot? We’d be eliminated in part due to internal bitching and moaning.

That shit needs to stop immediately.

In case you haven’t heard — “We’re gonna do football”. Newsflash for all the pansies praying for a pocket passer — Harbaugh (and presumably Monken) aren’t going to put the training wheels back on Dart. He’s going to run. He’s going to get hit. He’s going to kick some fucking ass.

If contact scares you, that’s fine. I’d just rather you spend your Sundays on the pickleball court instead of feeding the lame-brain media machine with your cowardice.

Physical quarterbacks absorb worse hits on a weekly basis. Josh Allen Routinely barrels into defenders. Trevor Lawrence has become a dual threat in the red zone and no one bats an eye. Fernando Mendoza was universally praised for taking a flying forehead to the chin in the national title game.

It’s the NFL, safety standards are applied extremely selectively. As fans, we need to cut the nonsense as this team transitions from perennial losers to legitimate contenders.

Dart’s brain isn’t broken. The conversation around him is.

It’s time to fix it.

No Sales Pitch, No Tough Guy Act - Just John Harbaugh

Reading between the lines of Harbaugh’s Giants Introductory Press Conference

A new era officially began today, as a pack of sweaty reporters gathered around a field they’ve likely never stepped foot on to ask the new coach of the New York Giants some introductory questions — all while us real reporters stuck at our office jobs slipped an AirPod in and listened to the YouTube stream like real professionals.

At approximately 12:04 PM, Joe Schoen stumbled onto the stage looking like he was ready to shit his pants. This was puzzling, given the fact that we’ve seen him address the media under far worse circumstances with significantly more confidence (HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR QUESTION). Perhaps this is some sort of survivor’s guilt. I don’t know.

Shortly after Schoen managed to embarrass himself on the day of his greatest triumph, our guy John donned the stage. I was slightly concerned that he’d take a page out of the Joe Judge book and bring some bullshit tough-guy act to the podium. But I quickly realized that there is nothing performative about this guy. He is unapologetically a football guy’s guy, through and through.

He was happy, appreciative, and comfortable as he fielded some admittedly easy questions from reporters. He calmly explained how and why he wanted to be here — citing the historical significance of the organization, a strong roster, and the quarterback room (Jameis included). He even shared a fun anecdote about how his dad called him up early in the process asking, “You watch the Giants?”

We greatly appreciate the endorsement, Jack.

Harbaugh predictably kept things close to the chest in terms of staffing and his overall plan to develop this roster into an eventual Super Bowl champion. But aside from his well-known “attack this day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind” mantra, he offered up this gem:

“If you love football, you’re gonna want to be here, because that’s what we’re gonna be doing — football. All the time. Every day. If there’s guys around that don’t love football, we’re gonna let those guys go play somewhere else. Because we’ll be doing football. That’s the plan.”

While a few too many characters for a t-shirt, his point was made, and I ate up every last crumb of it. It wasn’t forced, and he wasn’t trying to manufacture any sort of identity. He was explaining how he operates based on actual experience — not trying to convince or prove something to a fanbase that’s driven up Route 17 enough to spot a used car salesman.

My only gripe was not with Harbaugh, but with the aforementioned shill reporters. I get that everybody wants to kiss the teacher’s ass on the first day of school, but after spending the entire weekend pretending they knew exactly what was delaying the contract, nobody had the stones to ask John about it? Frauds.

While not a victory on the field (hopefully we get more than four of those next season), today further justified a reason for true optimism. This presser wasn’t littered with empty promises about turning the team into a perennial contender. We were simply given a peek behind the curtain of an established process with proven results.

When recounting a conversation Harbaugh had with Andy Reid — his mentor and someone who faced a similar career crossroads 13 years back — John said the only words of advice he received were: “Change can be good.”

I’m going to take Big Red’s word on that.

A Non-Disaster, Brought to You by the New York Giants

Against all odds, the Giants managed to land John Harbaugh…without screwing it up.

It’s no secret, the New York Giants have spent a majority of Joe Schoen’s tenure operating about as well as my 9-year-old self pulling the Adam’s Apple after a few too many Pixy Stix.

So despite the fact that a clear and obvious candidate emerged as the frontrunner for the team’s latest coaching vacancy, it was far from a given that the Giants’ brass would be able to get the deal done.

But by the grace of whatever god you believe in, “Slow Joe and the Failsons” somehow got the team ranked 27th in red-zone efficiency over the ever-elusive goal line.

The Giants have done everything wrong for so long. Typically, their bad hires and bad draft picks make them unavailable when good candidates or players emerge. Take, for example, the decision to retain Brian Daboll rather than engage in a coaching cycle that featured Mike Vrabel, Ben Johnson, and Liam Coen — or deciding to pass on Justin Herbert because Daniel Jones was selected the year prior.

This faulty judgement is typically brushed off as “bad timing” in a press conference where the fanbase is assured that we’re actually really close to contention. Giants fans no longer expect competence — we expect chaos, followed by a second press conference explaining how said chaos was actually part of the plan.

Needless to say, when Baltimore fired John Harbaugh and reports trickled in that the Super Bowl-winning coach actually preferred the Giants out of all the other vacancies, the fanbase eagerly awaited the latest installment of Schoen urinating down his pant leg.

On paper, the plan reeked of its extremely justified desperation.

The team flaunted Jaxson Dart around like some 2000s Abercrombie model. John Mara delayed his chemo to meet Harbaugh in person (please get back to your treatments, dude).

We hadn’t heard from Mr. Tisch in a what feels like a decade, yet Stevie fueled up the PJ and shipped Harbaugh up to Bergen County, where the Maras and Schoen planned their elaborate dinner date.

I’ve been to Elia several times since its opening in 2017. The food is undoubtedly solid, but I knew it would take more than some braised lamb, baba ghanoush, and repeatedly chanting “Smart, Tough, Dependable” to get pen to paper.

These are the minds that brought you “Deonte Banks is a 1st Rounder” and “Darren Waller has a lot left in the Tank”. I don’t know what they could’ve said to this man to convince him that East Rutherford, New Jersey, is a late-career retirement destination.

But somehow — the deal was (reportedly) done.

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Over the course of the next 72 hours, we learned that not only was the contract unsigned, but after promising Harbaugh the earth, moon, and stars — the future Hall of Fame coach actually wanted all of this in writing. The nerve!

The pain points of the contract remain somewhat of a mystery, but I can imagine the process involved Joe Schoen slowly negotiating away his own responsibilities while attempting to preserve whatever semblance of a job remained.

The pundits will say that this move brings stability to the organization — but its not even that. Harbaugh had a hard-on for our rich history, something his grandfather must’ve told him stories about. We had one of the better rosters in this cycle, largely by default. Most importantly, he wanted to be here and refused to even interview elsewhere.

This wasn’t a masterclass. It wasn’t all that impressive. It was simply a non-disaster — which feels like tremendous growth.

There are dozens of free-agency decisions and draft picks that we’ll have every opportunity to mishandle in the coming months. But on this day, we did something right, largely by not blowing the golden opportunity that fell directly into our laps.

So it goes without saying but…

The Giants are fucking back.