Is this the Best Soccer Team Ever Assembled?

To be perfectly frank, I had every intention of taking the cynical prick approach to covering this World Cup, and more specifically, the US National Team. After watching a half-dozen iterations of this team fall flat on their faces, its natural for us as a nation to put our guard up and take the “I don’t give a shit about soccer” approach. And let’s be honest, this defense mechanism has served as better fortification than the washed up MLS Center Backs we’ve trotted out year after year.

But given our fortunate group draw and the fact we’re entering year 7 of the “golden generation”, I genuinely believed this team was capable of making a run. Of course, by “run” i meant eking out enough 1-0 victories and flukey draws to squeak out of the group stage, ultimately getting dominated in the knockout round by the first legitimate team we run into. A USMNT tradition like no other.

When I learned that Paraguay was some sort of defensive stalwart that locked down the likes of Argentina and Brazil in qualifying, I think it was fair to expect “the under” in an uninspiring, dull, 90-minute affair. As it turns out, this crazy, Argentine, Russell Crowe in Crocodile Hunter garb had other plans.

From the opening whistle, it was evidently clear that this was not your grandpa’s Men’s National Team. The run and gun offense on display was something straight out of a FIFA game played against said grandpa. The US team generated chance after chance, and before you knew it, they had equaled their goal total from last World Cup in a single half.

Nearly the entire first 45 minutes were played exclusively on the Paraguayan side of the field as the Americans drove up the sidelines at will. The same passes I’ve watched ricochet 10 yards off some bum’s shinguard were perfectly received. The usual attempts to break down defenders one on one ended in complete embarrassment, this time for our opponents.

Balogun’s second and Reyna’s exclamation point were two of the best finishes I’ve ever seen from American born players. The fact that we don’t have to rely on garbage goals, set pieces, and pure luck feels like such a game changer. On top of that, they can apparently use video review to combat the flopping nonsense that has plagued us for years? Are we going to fuck around and win this whole damn thing?

I’m obviously getting way ahead of my skis here but how can you not be inspired by the dominance we witnessed last night? This tournament only comes around every four years and who knows the next time we’ll have this crop of talent led by a seemingly competent manager. So why not get swept up in this team and choose to believe?

So with that, I’m hereby declaring independence from the “I’d rather find $20 on the ground than win the World Cup” crowd and buying the fuck in on this team. I’ve completed my own “Mistaken Identity” review of US Soccer and see now that we can hang 4 goals on anyone, at any time.

So take your much needed “Hydration Break” and use these next 6 days to retool and refuel. Because while I don’t know much about soccer, I know Friday is going to be a day to be an Australian…or a US Commemorative Michelob Ultra bottle.

A Nets Fan’s Open Letter to the New York Knicks

Over the last 2 months, the New York Knicks decimation of the Eastern Conference has taken the basketball world by storm and galvanized the entire tristate area in the process. If you’re wondering why you’ve never heard me talk about the Knicks to this point, it’s probably because you’ve never heard me talk about anything (see 12 subscribers). In all seriousness, I’ve avoided jumping onboard the “KNICKS IN 4” gravy train because I am a Brooklyn Nets fan.

Believe it or not, there is an extremely niche demographic of basketball fans that were born in the early 90’s, grew up in North Jersey, and fell in love with the back-to-back Eastern Conference Champion New Jersey Nets. Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin, and Keith Van Horn inspired my young self to go out back and chuck brick after brick against my poor, unsuspecting backboard.

While the team never had much success after those pair of Finals appearances, I still enjoyed watching all of the regular season games and donned a #15 jersey in whatever sport I played, in a desperate (failed) effort to embody the athleticism of Vince Carter.

By the time high school rolled around, the Nets were in the process of relocating to Prospect Heights, while the Knicks finally acquired some legitimate star power in the form of Amare Stoudemire and eventually Carmelo Anthony. Much of my Nets brethren converted to Knicks fans, leaving me and Derrick Favors alone on an island in the Prudential Center.

Despite this, I never had much, if any animosity towards the Knicks. Admittedly, this was largely due to the fact that they spent the rest of the 2010’s getting beat by Lebron and losing the draft lottery just like we did. My friends and I never spent any time or energy shit talking each other’s basketball teams simply because we were both falling on our faces in unison.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a great deal of satisfaction when KD and Kyrie stunningly chose the Nets over the Knicks in the Summer of 2019. Of course, it didn’t take long for me to be humbled by this morsel of success as the Stephen A’s and WFAN callers danced on the predictably early grave that our “super” team now resides in.

I can honestly say that is about as heated this rivalry ever got for me. We’ve spent the past half-decade amassing late 1st round draft picks and getting banged by the lottery. Meanwhile the Knicks completely reinvented themselves and play one of the more entertaining brands of basketball the association has to offer.

The two teams have seemingly never been competitive at the same time and therefore there are no playoff series or even significant regular season games that stick out to me. Above all, a majority of fans that sit on the opposing side of the hardwood most likely share the Yankee Stadium bleachers, MetLife parking lot, or garden ice with me.

What started as me rooting for Philly and Boston to die painful deaths eventually turned into some legitimate support for the Knicks over the past 4 playoff runs. While you won’t see me joining in on the overly performative postgame festivities outside the Garden or even feeling a fraction of the glee true Knicks fans feel after each victory, it’s hard for me not to get any enjoyment out of the fact that the city is embracing a winner that it truly deserves.

There may come a day when this fandom from afar transitions into a crosstown rivalry but today is not that day. Given the fact that I make up a somewhat significant portion of it, I feel authorized to speak on behalf of Nets Nation when I say, “Go Finish the Job”.

This city is too good of a sports town to be without a championship for this long.

Good Luck, and Bing Bong.

Welcome Home, Odell

Well, its officially official.  We brought our boy home.

With all of the unwarranted hate and negativity surrounding the team of late, the Giants brass was wise to pull the trigger on one of the easiest decisions they’ll be faced with this season.  Between the social clips that emerged from Brian Burns’ Celebrity Softball Game, and the impression our painfully unsubtle beat reporters were giving – it seemed as though Monday’s workout was all but a formality before the inevitable OBJ/Giants reunion.

While Odell’s tenure wasn’t all sunshine, lollipops, and blonde mohawks – enough time has passed where a majority of the fanbase appreciates just how special of a talent OBJ was.  His trio of 1,300+ yard seasons to begin his career was not just unprecedented, but almost unimaginable given the defensive, grind-it-out identity the Giants had prior to OBJ’s arrival. 

The combination of some insanely childish antics and a whole lot of losing would eventually sour Odell’s image in the eyes of the media and the drunk, semi-racist uncles of the tristate area.  While it’s easy now to look back at the last 15 years of dysfunction and realize it probably wasn’t all the best player on the team’s fault, it’s important to remember that at the time, the fanbase simply didn’t know how to handle losing.   

When OBJ was drafted, we had two Lomabardis that were yet to collect dust.  There was a widespread belief that we just needed to make the playoffs and have Eli do some wizard shit to win another Super Bowl.  As the years went on, these expectations slowly looked more and more like fan fiction.  Instead of making honest assessments of the roster, the fans and media united to alienate one of the only talented football players on our bad football team. 

Sadly, we’ve never learned from this failed exercise and have continued to let talent walk out the door, wrongfully labeling players as “distractions” and in Odell’s case a “locker room cancer”.  Hopefully, today’s signing helps put an end to this nasty, loser habit.

In his second stint with the Giants, OBJ is not expected to be a star player or even a starter.  He’s not going to demand targets, shed tears on the sideline, or livestream a therapy session with Lil Wayne.  There is no possible way his ego was not checked at the door when he found himself working out alongside Braxton Berrios and Juju Smith-Schuster.  He understands his role as a depth piece and is an instant upgrade over bums like Jalin Hyatt.

Most importantly, he can serve as a mentor to the young guys in the locker room.  Odell’s experience being built up as a superstar, only to be chewed up and spat out is beyond valuable to a team whose best players are currently going through eerily similar experiences.

While the parallels to Malik Nabers are the most obvious, I’m not overly concerned with the fact that he’s not rehabbing his knee fast enough for Pat Leonard’s liking.  I want him in the ear of Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter.

This duo has obvious star potential and are in the process of being torn down for absolute nonsense.  We can’t have their stories in NY end the same way as Odell, Saquon, and so many others.  I’m not looking for 1,200 yards and 10 TDs.  I just want to focus on football and not be dragged by the bullshit that has plagued us for the past 15 years.

So let’s get Jalin Hyatt $10,000 and a gig at the American Dream.  Let’s get #13 back in the end zone again.

Nothing Heals the Yankees Like the AL Central

In a world filled with so much doubt and uncertainty, it’s comforting to know that some things truly do stay the same.  While death and taxes are a bit of a drag, the Yankees’ continued domination of the AL Central is something that never fails to bring me immense joy.

For the second time this season, the Yanks ended a stretch of mediocre play by beating the brakes off the pitiful Kansas City Royals.  Wednesday Night’s 7-0 victory marks 14 straight wins against Kansas City.  This most recent dismantling officially capped off the season series in which New York outscored this “opponent” 50-10. 

Seeing “KC” on a baseball schedule represents so much more than a regular three-game stretch.  It personifies the term “get-right series”, in which wins are guaranteed to be added, and stats are guaranteed to be padded.  No matter how good or bad the Yanks are playing, you just know that in 72 short hours, the “Chase for 28” will be back on.

They should let the dorky dudes on one of those Queer Eye makeover Shows take BP against Bailey Falter and the boys to instill some much-needed confidence.  Perhaps we should consider allowing sick children the opportunity to pitch against the bottom of the Royals lineup in order to give them the strength and belief needed to overcome their terminal illnesses. 

If the sensation of beating the Royals could be taken in pill form, I fear there would be a global epidemic.

Much of this applies not just to Kansas City, but to the entirety of the AL Central.  Since 2006, the Yankees are 450-254 against this joke of a division.  That equates to .639 winning percentage, good enough for a ~103-win pace over this 20-year stretch.

The downside of this complete and utter domination is that we oftentimes leave these series thinking the team is better than it actually is.  Unfortunately, the real World Series contenders don’t play near cornfields.  While these wins are important in putting together a strong season, they are not necessarily indicative of postseason success.

That is of course unless the Yankees are fortunate enough to play one of these squads come October.  Since 2017, the Yankees have faced off against an AL Central foe seven times in the postseason.  The Yankees have won all seven series.

If you really want to put on your doomer glasses, you could say that pretty much any success this team has had over the past decade is at the expense of this band of mediocre baseball teams.

The model of beating up on bad teams and praying we draw an AL Central opponent in October keeps the fan base engaged but unfortunately has only led to one piece of hardware in the form of an AL Pennant.  This path to the 2024 World Series was of course made up exclusively of central foes.

While I constantly find myself ping-ponging between overconfident and overly cynical after these series, it’s hard to argue with the immediate impact.  The Yankees have climbed to within 1.5 games of Tampa Bay.  After this weekend’s edition of “A’s after Dark”, 6 of the team’s next 10 series are against this punching bag of a division. 

This should prevent the infamous “June Swoon” and allow the Yanks to reclaim the division lead by the All-Star Break.  Will this solve all of the team’s problems?  Of course not, but getting in position to skip the 3-game crapshoot wildcard round and hopefully match up against one of these putzes in the DS should remain the goal.

So let’s try our best to not get too high or too skeptical over this next month.  Enjoy the warm weather, hot dogs, and paper mache victories over our Middle-American friends.  Because regardless of the opposition, not all success needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

After all, that Gerrit Cole guy looked pretty good, huh?

Touch Grass. The Giants are Fine.

What was meant to be a quiet, uneventful, and productive Giants offseason has quickly flown off the rails after this weekend’s shocking news out of East Rutherford. For the first time in NFL history, a Republican and Democrat player share a Locker Room. Disturbing and disgusting, I know.

Obviously the so-called “journalists” and Twitter Bots had a field day as Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter’s non-tiff went public. The mentally-ill on both sides of the spectrum planted their flags on opposing sides of the line of scrimmage as both of the team’s 2025 1st Rounders were torn apart by the biggest losers the internet has to offer.

I’ll say this as clearly as possible - If you’re offended by either side of this, you are the fucking problem. You’re a pleb whose been programmed to have a visceral reaction to anything that opposes whatever side of the coin your twitter algorithm realized you’re dumb enough to support.

If you want to keep mainlining the diarrhea soup the news feeds you, so be it. But if you support this team and find yourself arguing in the comment section of anything related to this, just know you’re no fan, you’re an opp.

You’re adding fuel to the fire of something that was a non-issue for the first 100 years of NFL football. In every real-life setting, you’re going to encounter people with upbringings and sets of beliefs that differ from your own. Odds are you’re going to have to communicate and collaborate with these people in order to find success or accomplish a common goal.

This team has more promise than ever and is preparing for its best season in 15 years. Don’t let hate mongers and social media bullshit ruin it. Because unlike you twitter dorks, these guys of some of the most physically talented, mentally disciplined individuals on the planet. They’re going to figure it out, no matter how badly the football hating pansies want to pull them apart.

If you don’t like anything you’ve read today, get fucking lost. We’re here to talk ball and support the Giants, not some grifting political party.

The Yankees Can’t Keep Ignoring the Warning Signs

A brutal Subway Series collapse exposed problems the Yankees can no longer ignore

Well, we’re one day removed from suffering an early “worst loss of the season” contender at the hands of the crosstown rival, New York Mets.  If we’re being honest, it seems as though they’ve gotten the better of the Yankees in a majority of these Subway Series matchups.  While we can usually brush off a series loss in the infancy of a season with the predictable, yet lame “This is your World Series” excuse – this one just feels different. 

This is largely due to the fact that the Mets are in the midst of a season from hell.  This is an organization that watched beloved core players walk to greener pastures so they could spend Uncle Creepie’s schmeckles on aging, underperforming, hired bums.  It was only a few weeks back that this team suffered a franchise-tying 12-game losing streak which doesn’t include a separate 3-game sweeping at the hands of the vaunted Colorado Rockies.  Simply put, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong for a franchise that has had their fair share of miserably embarrassing stretches over the years.

So when Tyrone “3 for his last 32” Taylor steps up to the dish with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, there wasn’t a soul in that building that expected him to come through in the clutch.  Not only did Taylor send Bednar’s (inexplicably dumb!) first-pitch curve to Astoria, but he potentially rerouted the entire 2026 Yankees campaign in the process. 

If you get miraculously beaten by a team that was 0 for their last 91 in games they were trailing through 8 innings, what does that make you?  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but Sunday’s loss will leave a stench of “they’re gonna blow this one” on this team for the remainder of the season.

Something needs to be done about the bullpen immediately.  Last season, Bednar earned a ton of goodwill simply because he was a human being not named Devin Williams.  This year, he’s given up earned runs in 9 of his 20 appearances and has flushed all the trust he was wrongfully awarded down his parent’s Pittsburgh Potty.

Doval; the prematurely crowned “set-up man”, has been even worse.  This leaves any and all late inning pitching responsibilities in the hands of Fernando Cruz, Tim Hill, and Brent Headrick.  This trio has performed admirably, but to expect this consistency for another 115 games is equal parts unfair and moronic.

While I fully understand that teams aren’t going to easily part with bullpen arms while they remain within the clusterfuck that is the May Wild Card Race, I think it’s time to start extending godfather offers to some of the bottom feeders.  There is no room for both Jones AND Dominguez in the near or distant future.  This isn’t an easy decision by any means, but if you need to ship one of these kids off for a proven closer, make the move.

I’ll do my part and butcher whatever woodland creatures Matt Blake deems necessary to perform his black magic on this year’s class of 5.00 ERA relievers.  But I need it to happen immediately, not in July.  So, make the calls Cashman and I’ll start drawing the pentagrams.

While you’re on the line, some sort of competition at the catcher position would be nice.  Either give Escarra real reps to see if he can fill the black hole in the lineup, or get someone (ideally a righty) who can play the position.  You truly don’t know how good you have it, until you’re willing to name your first-born “Higashioka” if it meant the “Home Run Stroka” would walk through those doors.  While Volpe has served as the team’s whipping boy for the past couple of years, Wells has been equally disappointing and is equally undeserving of being penciled into his starting role.

Aside from that, we need to get our big guys back on the damn field.  The June Swoon has come a month early and scheduled PTO needs to end.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why we’re having Cole throw 90 pitches a start in “Cinco De Mayo” alternate jerseys when Rodon is up here playing wall ball with the backstop.  The team needs juice and intensity.  Let’s wrap up the purely precautionary Caballero stint, get Stanton on a yoga regiment, and cancel Cole’s next rehab start in Antelope, Oregon.

I swear that I’m not normally the suburban WFAN Caller – but when the narrative surrounding the Yankees is “they only beat bad teams” and then you get absolutely pantsed by a rival bad team, change needs to be made.  We’re looking at a month long stretch of games that starts with the Jays and Rays (obvious divisional significance), followed by a clump of teams right in the thick of AL Wild Card contention.  These games will ultimately decide who and where we’re playing come October.

Learn from years past.  Don’t let early season success and shitty American League records fool you into thinking you’re better than you are.  This weekend’s gut punch was long overdue and its time to make the necessary changes to ensure this season doesn’t end the same as the last 15.

New York Giants 2026 Schedule Preview

With the big NFL schedule release set for 8:00 PM tonight, the Giants naturally decided to leak theirs 10 hours prior.  I’m of the belief that going through the games and predicting wins and losses is one of the more useless exercises since the invention of the shake weight.  So instead, I’m going to quickly give my gut reaction to any storylines, matchups, or potential playoff implications for all 18 weeks of Giants football.

Week 1 – Dallas Cowboys (Sunday Night Football)

This is THE stereotypical Week 1 SNF matchup.  At first glance, there is instant PTSD from the 40-0 drubbing from 3 years back. But believe it or not, there was a time we won these games.  The amount of instant hype that would surround this team with a win is almost inconceivable.  Harbaugh has fixed the Giants!  Is Jaxson Dart a dark horse MVP?  Is New York this year’s first to worst Super Bowl run?  This all sounds great, but anyone who follows this team knows we haven’t beat Dak since 2016.  A loss looms even larger based on our week 2 matchup.

Week 2 - @ Los Angeles Rams (Monday Night Football)

Back-to-back primetime games will either make or break the general perception of this team.  Given the quality of opponent in these two matchups, its fair to be a little weary of this reality.  As if the Dallas offense wasn’t a tough enough test for a defense that struggled mightily in 2025, the Rams present matchup nightmares across the board.  Quite frankly, I don’t see how our corners hold up against Stafford, Puka, and Davante.  But if we’re able to at least play somewhat respectable defense in this matchup, we should be extremely optimistic about Dennard Wilson and the young pieces moving forward.

Week 3 – Tennessee Titans

Brian Daboll and Robert Saleh make their non-triumphant returns to beautiful Metlife Stadium…along with Wandale, Flott, Bellinger, Schlottmann, Bricillo, and Tierney to name a few.  Aside from this being one of the weaker opponents on paper, this is one you really need to win to truly feel like we’re moving in a positive direction.  I’m so tired of guys who flamed out here having success elsewhere.  Heaven forbid we lose this game and potentially fall to 0-3, things will get ugly immediately and there is a real chance the season falls off the tracks.

Week 4 – Arizona Cardinals

I can’t say this one moves the needle a ton for me.  I guess I’m excited to see Jeremiah Love?  Will Jacoby Brissett continue the most random, unwarranted hold-out in NFL history?  Who the fuck cares, win the game.

Week 5 - @ Washington Commanders

Wouldn’t it be nice to start sweeping this team again?  Sadly we’ve been on the receiving end of said sweeps the past two years.  Washington’s defense is also revamped and no longer consists exclusively of dinosaurs.  This includes Sonny Styles who will be compared to Arvell Reese for as long as the two remain in the division.  Should the Giants have opted for the more traditional LB at pick 5?  Let’s shut that down immediately and pray for a big game against Jaden Daniels – a QB we consistently struggle to get to the ground.

Week 6 – New Orleans Saints

I HATE that Tyler Shough is somehow more well regarded than Dart.  He pads his stats against the Dolphins, Jets, and Titans and all of the sudden he’s Drew Brees.  Meanwhile our guy consistently lights up top defenses and gets the reject-Jackass cast member label.  These two matchups against the 2025 QB Class are beyond significant for the narrative surrounding Dart and more importantly, my own mental sanity.  At the same time, Kellen Quinn has seemingly always had our number and beat our brains in with Spencer Rattler at the helm.  It won’t be easy, but I’d love to put both of these storylines to rest.

Week 7 - @ Houston Texans

As mentioned above, Dart played fairly well against strong defenses in 2025.  Ideally, with a healthy supporting cast, an extra year of experience, and a more competent coaching staff, that trend continues.  I don’t fully know what direction Houston is heading, but given the Sophomore and Junior year slumps for Stroud, it would be nice to see Jaxson give the fanbase confidence that his arrow is pointed in a positive direction.  Also, an obligatory FUCK ALTUVE.

Week 8 – BYE

This feels like a nice spot for the bye!  Ideally, the season isn’t over and maybe, just maybe we’re above .500 and prepping for a run at the playoffs.  On the slightly pessimistic side of the coin, this may be an opportunity to greenlight Malik Nabers for said playoff push following news of a second procedure on the surgically repaired knee.

Week 9 - @ Philadelphia Eagles

If you’ve made it this far, I don’t need to tell you about how difficult of a matchup this will inevitably be.  No matter how good, bad, or scummy the Eagles team, the Linc has been a house of horrors for the G-Men (we’ve lost 13 straight).  I’m by no means guaranteeing victory, but it sure helps that we’re coming off a bye and that Dart and Skattebo have beaten them before.  Here’s hoping last season’s dysfunction bleeds into 2026.

Week 10 – Washington Commanders (Thursday Night Football)

Thursday Night Football always sucks but I feel like we got some seriously good luck here!  It’s a divisional foe that you should be comfortable game planning against, and 2 games in 4 days isn’t as tough of a pill to swallow when we had a bye the week prior. 

Week 11 – Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jags were last year’s new coach, 4 to 13 win team that we’d very much like to replicate.  I can’t really muster up much animosity towards this team because they simply are the Jaguars.  They have a hepatitis ridden swimming pool where we have $600 seats.  They’re a goofy, non-football town and we quite frankly need this more.  No hard feelings, I will be pulling for them in the AFC Wild Card Game that they will inevitably lose.

Week 12 - @ Indianapolis Colts

Well, well, well, we meet again Daniel Jones.  I don’t have as much vitriol towards our mouth-breathing bust of franchise quarterback as most, but the whole “The Giants let this guy walk?” while we were going through our Russell Wilson phase did irk me.  He’s closing in on $200M in career earnings despite winning 32 football games.  While Indy did look strong prior to DJ’s 3rd season-ending injury, this is another one I’d really like to win strictly for the pettiest of reasons.

Week 13 – San Francisco 49ers

This probably the toughest home game of the season.  The Niners are the consistent class of the NFC and present a rushing attack that will be difficult to stop.  If we can hang with these guys in December, I’ll be super pleased.  If our run defense continues to operate primarily as a sieve, then expect a rough, cold day for the Metlife faithful.

Week 14 - @ Seattle Seahawks

Facing off against the defending Super Bowl Champions in one of the most difficult places to play is far from ideal.  But who knows, the Giants have actually beaten Seattle the last two times they’ve faced off against the 12th man and their artificially pumped-in crowd noise.  Their stout defense starts in the interior, with Byron Murphy and our old friend Leonard Williams.  Ideally Mauigoa proves to be a stalwart at guard by this point in the season, and maybe Harbaugh squeezes something extra out of JMS and Runyan.  If not, this will be a difficult (but important) test for Mbow, JC Davis, and whoever else is thrown into the fire.

Week 15 – Cleveland Browns

Gun to my head, I couldn’t tell you who will be playing QB for the Browns at this point in the year.  There’s no way Deshaun lasts 15 weeks right?  But can’t you say the same about the Sanders circus?  Whichever side of the dice the Browns land on, the focus is and always will be the handling of Miles Garrett.  I imagine Nagy will alternate chipping the life out of him with Ricard and Skat until he decides “Ehh I don’t need to chase my own sack record”.

Week 16 - @ Detroit Lions (Monday Night Football)

It’s no secret, the Lions took a major step back last season.  Is it out of the realm of possibility that the Dan Campbell experience is getting stale?  The Winston-led Giants nearly beat them in Detroit last season, until the aforementioned Campbell remembered he had Jahmyr Gibbs on the roster.  I could be talking crazy, but depending on how the NFC North shakes out, this could have some serious NFC Wild Card Implications.  I may be shooting too low, but I really just want this game to matter and not serve as another clip farming excursion for Jaemis and Co.

Week 17 - @ Dallas Cowboys

Again – is this for one of the final playoff spots in the NFC?  Sign me the fuck up.  I want Taylor Swift level coverage of Jerry while we eliminate his overrated, underperforming roster.

Week 18 – Philadelphia Eagles

Another thought exercise – what if the season exceeds the most delusional of expectations and this one is for the division?  While history points to this being a rock fight between backup quarterbacks that we win and screw up our draft position – what if this year is different?  What if Harbaugh does come in here and have us playing like the Giants of old?  What if Dart takes the year two jump and doesn’t look back?  What if the crowd no longer needs to be prompted to stand on third down because we have the most violent pass rush in the league?  Sounds pretty nice doesn’t it?

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I’m well aware that a lot will change between now and September.  The line between speculation and fan fiction was definitely blurred, but that’s exactly what this time of year is for!  At a bare minimum, fans should be excited that we didn’t get completely banged this time around.  No international games, not a ton of primetime, a well-placed bye!  Let’s get enthusiastic about this next chapter of Giants football because that’s what we do.

So buy a ticket to a winnable game, put in some irrational futures, and get hyped!  In 4 short months, you won’t have to read about how the season will go in a shitty sports blog.  You’ll be able to witness it with your own two eyes.

Enjoy your summers everyone.  Lets Go Big Blue.

Giants Offseason Scenarios, Part 1: The Chalk Zone

A thought exercise in continuity, trench investment, and restraint.

Rather than let my creative bug-bite heal during the six weeks leading up to free agency, I figured I’d take this opportunity to work through a number of different offseason scenarios for the 2026 New York Giants.

These proposed trajectories aren’t meant to be predictions, nor “what I would do” if I were in Joe Schoen’s tiny shoes. I’m simply aiming to lay out as many different scripts as possible in order to better determine the best path forward for the franchise.

DISCLAIMER(S):

• Given the fact I don’t practice witchcraft or have access to any ancient tomes, I am forced to project on contract values. These won’t be perfect, but they should be in the ballpark and therefore beneficial to this exercise.

• Generally, cap hits are lower than the AAV in the first year of new deals. I’ve included “Year 1 Cap Hit” next to each signing to keep things organized.

• I’ve only included our 1st and 2nd round draft picks in this scenario. It’s fairly unrealistic to expect immediate production from 4th, 5th, and 6th rounders. I’m also not enough deep enough in draft prep to confidently give you a bunch of random names.

• If you have any other complaints/gripes beyond this, please feel free to follow me on Twitter/X and tell me how much of an idiot I am.

Scenario 1: The Chalk Zone

I wanted to start by focussing on a combination of some of the more obvious moves in Schoen’s arsenal. This outline mainly focuses on running it back with UFAs, while bringing in a few Harbaugh guys to round out the roster.

I’ve chosen to really emphasize bolstering trenches in an effort to back up all the hard nosed, meatball, football vernacular that has been floating around 1925 Giants Drive over the past few weeks.

I’d say this reality has so many probable moves that it’s borderline unrealistic — thus being deemed the “Chalk Zone”. Enjoy.

Cap Space/Roster Cuts

The Giants currently sit with roughly $8 million in Cap space heading into the offseason. Per OTC, “simple restructures” to established players with multiple years remaining in their current deals (i.e. Thomas, Lawrence, Adebo) can result in an additional $61 million being created.

The Giants have a rookie QB and a GM in hot water. I’m going to operate under the assumption that proverbial can is kicked fairly faar down the road in an effort to register some wins in 2026.

Speaking of kicking, let’s get to some no-brainer cuts:

• CUT Graham Gano (Injured, Expensive) - $4.5 Million Saved

• CUT James Hudson (Ass, Expensive) - $5.5 Million Saved

• CUT Devin Singletary (Expensive, Depth at Position) - $5.25 Million Saved

• CUT Jalin Hyatt (Ass, Personal Hatred) - $1.5 Million Saved

• CUT 8 Guys we Brought in to Fill out the Roster in 2025 (Brade, Payton, Tuipoloto, Swayze-Bozeman, Leal, Cambre, Hudson) - $1-1.1 Million Saved Each

These moves will probably be consistent across all the scenarios we run through. Any other cuts, trades, extensions are fairly consequential and will require additional consideration when reconstructing the roster. For instance, what if Bobby Okereke is cut (additional $9 Million saved)?

Okereke’s Giant career has been extremely up and down. His play has fallen off considerably after a dominant year 1 under former defensive coordinator, Wink Martindale.

Linebacker is one of the Giants’ weakest position groups, so while cutting the team’s best LB isn’t ideal, it’s a position that can be filled with an additional body or two using the additional funds.

So — after the restructures, cuts, and starting cap space, that puts us at $103.35 Million to spend on the 2026 season. Let’s subtract the estimated cost of our current draft picks ($15.7 Million) to give us roughly $88 Million to play with.

Free Agency/Draft

• RESIGN Wan’Dale Robinson (WR) - 4 Years, $60 Million ($12M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • It makes perfect sense for Joe Schoen to retain one of the best draft picks of his tenure. Unfortunately for the Giants’ Front Office, Robinson is coming off a career year, so the cost of the slot receiver increased significantly as he compiled statistics in a lost season.

• RESIGN Cor’Dale Flott (CB) - 4 Years, $39 Million ($8M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • Flott is arguably the best developed player selected by this regime. Despite his limited size/physicality, he’s made great strides in coverage each year and has completely surpassed Deonte Banks on the depth chart.

• RESIGN Daniel Bellinger (TE) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($4M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • With only Theo Johnson and the unproven Thomas Fidone remaining in the TE Room, it makes sense to bring back Bellinger on a team friendly deal. The low price tag seems realistic given the limited offensive statistics.

• RESIGN Jermaine Eluemunor (RT) - 3 Years, $54 Million ($15M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • It’s time to pay the piper for the best RT this team has seen in a decade. He seemingly enjoys playing here and I struggle to find a comparable tackle available at this price tag.

• RESIGN Micah McFadden (LB) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($3M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • One of the aforementioned LB bodies that can be filled using some of the Okereke money. I don’t think this deal will cost too much given McFadden missed virtually all of the 2025 season.

• RESIGN Casey Kreiter (LS) - 1 Year, $2 Million ($2M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I don’t recall any egregiously bad snaps during his tenure. Makes sense to me.

• SIGN Tyler Linderbaum (C) - 4 Years, $80 Million ($17M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • One of 2 Harbaugh guys that twitter keeps linking to the Giants (Likely being the other). I opted for Linderbaum here because I want to build a bad ass offensive line that fits the image and identity of our new coach/savior.

• SIGN Patrick Ricard (FB) - 2 Years, $7 Million ($3M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • The erection I have when imagining Skattebo and Ricard in the Power I is almost indescribable.

• SIGN Zion Johnson (G) - 3 Years, $28 Million ($8M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I liked Zion coming out of the draft and while he hasn’t fully lived up to his full potential in LA, he’s only 26 years-old and offers a budget friendly option to replace Van Roten (UFA) or Runyan (‘27 Expiring Contract/CUT Candidate).

• SIGN Devin Lloyd (LB) - 3 Years, $60 Million ($15M Year 1 Cap Hit)

  • I needed to land at least 1 big fish to improve a defense that struggled mightily against the run. Lloyd serves as an improvement in that department and offers a ton in the coverage department.

• DRAFT Caleb Downs (S) - 5th Overall

  • The Giants desperately need a playmaker in the secondary. Given we have our Quarterback, Tackles, and Pass Rushers in place — I could really care less about “positional value”. Similar to the Lloyd addition, get me the stud who can play both the run and the pass.

• DRAFT Peter Woods (DT) - 37th Overall

  • Like the entire Clemson Team, Woods’ draft stock has plummeted as a result of a horrible 2025 season. If this kid slips to the 2nd, I wouldn’t hesitate to pounce on an elite talent at a position of need.

Summary/Recap

Offense:

• Dart, Winston - QB

• Skattebo, Singletary - RB

• Ricard - FB

• Nabers, Slayton, Wandale - WR

• Johnson, Bellinger, Fidone - TE

• Thomas - LT

• Runyan - LG

• Linderbaum - C

• Zion Johnson - RG

• Eluemunor - RT

I love this group. Outside of Runyan, the line will be set for the entirety of Dart’s rookie deal. Mbow and JMS probably leave a bit to be desired in terms of depth, but ideally Schoen can add more young players to develop in the later rounds of the draft.

The real weakness here is the depth of receiver room. After the three guys shown, there really isn’t much in terms of experience or ability to separate. This is definitely concerning if Nabers is not fully healthy to start the season.

Regardless, the identity of this offensive group will be the run.

Defense:

• Burns, Carter, KT, Golston - EDGE

• Dex, Alexander, Woods, Robertson-Harris - DT

• Lloyd, McFadden, Muasau, Board - LB

• Adebo, Flott, Phillips, Banks - CB

• Holland, Downs, Nubin - S

This defense should be improved, particularly against the run. Depth at DT and LB remain a concern, but if Downs can play downhill as well as I expect, hopefully it’s at least serviceable.

The same goes for the secondary. It’s essentially the same unit with Caleb Downs. I’m really banking on Dennard Wilson to implement an actual scheme and get the most out of these younger players.

It’s still far from perfect, but if they’re even marginally improved, the Giants should be able to win a few more games behind this possession/run-focused offense.

Specials:

• Kreiter - LS

• Gillan - P

• Sauls - K

Hopefully Sauls is actually good. Regardless, I wouldn’t hate using one of our three 6th rounders on a kicker and/or punter.

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If you enjoyed this thought exercise and want to see more, let me know! I’d love to implement any sort of feedback in future iterations of this series.

Let’s Go Giants. Speak Soon.

Everyone Feels Certain. Championship Weekend Rarely Is.

Cold Weather, hot takes, and two games that won’t behave

Over the next 48 hours, the combination of blizzards, frigid temperatures, and even colder football takes will keep a large portion of the country trapped indoors. Before you end up brawling an old woman at Costco over a box of frozen pizzas, take a deep breath and realize that being snowed in for Championship Sunday is a small miracle in itself.

So stock up on beer, cook some Italian food, and prepare for the real battle — Sunday’s slate. Because while weathermen and ESPN “analysts” will deliver takes with absolute certainty, certainty is usually the first thing to fall apart on weekends like this.

Patriots at Broncos

Everyone is far too focused on Jarrett Stidham starting for the injured Bo Nix. Sean Payton had late-stage Drew Brees throwing for 4,000 yards despite being physically incapable of pushing the ball more than 15 feet downfield. Drawing up a simple game plan for “Stiddy” and asking the eight-year veteran to play competently enough to win is not nearly as far-fetched as people are making it out to be.

This is Stidham’s third season under Payton. He knows the offense, he’s had a full week to prepare, and he’ll be fine. If you’re looking for the lazy “backup quarterback, season over” narrative, I’d suggest getting your sports takes from homeless men or Craig Carton.

The story that actually matters here is that the façade of the Denver defense has completely faded. Had it not been for timely turnovers and a collection of Josh Allen fuck-ups, the Broncos would’ve been 50-pieced at home last week.

The Patriots get crushed for their weak strength of schedule, but is it possible this Denver defense is the product of playing equally feeble competition?

Denver fattened up on one-possession wins against the Titans, Jets, Giants, Raiders (twice), Commanders, and a Mahomes-less Chiefs team. Say what you will about New England’s opponents, but they rarely played with their food — and the result was a potential MVP quarterback. Meanwhile, Denver boasts a statistically solid defense that allowed 450 yards to Josh Allen on a bad day (understatement of the century).

I’m also not buying the “Patriots never play well at Mile High” storyline. Bill Belichick (and Tom Brady, for that matter) are off chasing fifth-year sorority tail. Prime Von Miller is not running out of that tunnel. This historical nonsense is irrelevant.

My focus is on how easily the New England running backs can rip off chunk plays. TreVeyon Henderson might end up hitting his head on the goalpost if he sees the same holes Denver allowed last weekend. While it may be tempting to further cement Drake Maye’s MVP case (votes already in, I know), Mike Vrabel would be wise to lean on the run game and protect a quarterback who is averaging almost a fumble per quarter this postseason.

Bottom line: If the Patriots avoid turnovers, they can absolutely put up the 30-plus points needed to outscore Stidham and company. But if this turns into a rock fight — or even a moderately high-scoring game — Denver is far more live than people want to admit.

Rams at Seahawks

Everyone knows the surface-level script here. Divisional rivals. Split the regular season series. Toss-up. Blah blah blah.

The crazy narrative in this game is just how universally disrespected Sam Darnold is. I’d call him polarizing, but that’s not accurate. The consensus seems to be that he still just flat-out sucks.

After flunking out of Adam Gase’s failed attempt at the Manning Passing Academy, Darnold has been passed around the league like a collection dish at church. I get it — his face is stupid and he got mono at 26 — but the guy has now posted back-to-back 14-win seasons on two different teams and is still used as Exhibit A for why Seattle can’t win a championship.

Darnold ranks fifth in the league in passing yards. He keeps winning games while people explain why those wins don’t count, usually while making the same stale, soulless ginger jokes.

Despite not doing his damage off-script, I imagine Kubiak and Darnold were licking their chops after watching the Rams’ secondary unravel in the second half last week. Expect Darnold and Jaxon Smith-Njigba to find success at all three levels and put points on the board Sunday night.

On the other sideline stands Matthew Stafford — not just top five in passing yards, but the league leader in 2025. Sean McVay wears a Super Bowl ring largely because of Stafford’s greatness, but the future Hall of Famer hasn’t played up to his standard this postseason.

Whether it’s a lingering finger issue from the Carolina game or just age showing up at inconvenient times, the 37-year-old has been uncharacteristically inaccurate in key stretches. McVay’s early-down pass obsession and near-total abandonment of the run nearly cost the Rams last week. He can’t repeat that mistake.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. The Rams are going to need points to win, and simply spamming Kyren Williams and Blake Corum probably won’t cut it against a dominant Seahawks defense.

Bottom line: The Rams can’t afford to fall behind early. The home crowd will become a problem, and I don’t trust an injured Stafford to engineer a double-digit comeback. Meanwhile, Darnold must avoid the catastrophic mistakes that defined the early part of his career. I don’t think he’s that quarterback anymore — but if everyone else is right, expect a heavy dose of Syndrome in your Twitter timeline.

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In a season as wide open as any I can remember, all four semifinalists have absorbed their fair share of skepticism. But conference championships aren’t decided by hot takes, mainstream discourse, or the vibes you have on a Thursday afternoon.

Championship games are predictably unpredictable. They are decided by the thinnest of margins and will reward the side that remains composed, patient, and resists the urge to get too cute when the going gets tough. Who is going to the Super Bowl? I can’t wait to find out.

Stay warm. Savor each snap. Enjoy the games.

Jaxson Dart’s Brain isn’t Broken — Yours Is

This discourse needs to be put into the blue tent…for good.

“He lives in the blue tent!”

“He needs to learn to protect himself!”

“Injury Prone!”

This narrative wasn’t created by doctors. It was invented by the most unintelligent football fans you know, and echoed by the dumbest media personalities we’ve got.

From his very first start, Jaxson Dart has been unfairly profiled as some sort of invalid who suffers Antonio Brown-level brain damage each time he touches the turf. Despite instantly transforming an offense that has been anemic for the better part of a decade, his reputation as “Blue Tent Guy” has somehow proceeded all on field success.

Somewhere along the line, this stupid fucking tent became the main character in Dart’s story, rather than the faulty piece of medical equipment it was designed to be.

A massive run called back on a bullshit penalty? That mix of disappointment and fatigue is misdiagnosed as brain damage. Into the tent.

First and goal, QB Draw for no gain. A Washington player is injured on the play. Lets throw Dart in the tent for good measure while Jonathan Vilma has a conniption about designed quarterback runs.

Of course, our former head coach didn’t help. Daboll’s clown-like sideline antics were nationally broadcast streamed for the entire country to see. Him barging into the much-maligned piece of tarp had every stay-at-home doctor, hall monitor, and mall cop up in arms.

For some nonsensical reason, our own fans latched onto this lazy, low-hanging-fruit narrative — blaming Dart’s usage in the run game as the reason for the team’s failures. Let’s ignore the blown leads, a putrid defense, and general organizational incompetence, and instead point fingers at the play style of the only competent QB we’ve seen since..what, 2015 Eli?

Media perception only hardened as every Tom, Dick, and Stephen A. with a microphone misinformed the masses that blue tent evaluations = violent concussions.

By this logic, my 5-year-old nephew is one pillow fort away from CTE.

The reason I’m re-pissed off about this nonsense is because its now costing our franchise quarterback well earned awards and recognition. Tyler Shough seems like a nice guy, but him getting the PFWA All-Rookie nod over Dart is an absolute joke.

Dart posted significantly better Pass EPA, Rush EPA, and QB Success Rate, with 11 more touchdowns. One quarterback is propped up for bullying the Titans and Jets; the other is penalized for his over competitiveness and non-injuries.

If Drewski or some other cornball celebrity tries to give the PA Award to someone else, I hope Eluemunor power-bombs them.

While individual awards don’t ultimately matter, this snub proves that the noise around Dart isn’t harmless anymore.

What if that Washington game — where Dart was sidelined for the potential game-tying, goal-line sequence — was for a playoff spot? We’d be eliminated in part due to internal bitching and moaning.

That shit needs to stop immediately.

In case you haven’t heard — “We’re gonna do football”. Newsflash for all the pansies praying for a pocket passer — Harbaugh (and presumably Monken) aren’t going to put the training wheels back on Dart. He’s going to run. He’s going to get hit. He’s going to kick some fucking ass.

If contact scares you, that’s fine. I’d just rather you spend your Sundays on the pickleball court instead of feeding the lame-brain media machine with your cowardice.

Physical quarterbacks absorb worse hits on a weekly basis. Josh Allen Routinely barrels into defenders. Trevor Lawrence has become a dual threat in the red zone and no one bats an eye. Fernando Mendoza was universally praised for taking a flying forehead to the chin in the national title game.

It’s the NFL, safety standards are applied extremely selectively. As fans, we need to cut the nonsense as this team transitions from perennial losers to legitimate contenders.

Dart’s brain isn’t broken. The conversation around him is.

It’s time to fix it.

No Sales Pitch, No Tough Guy Act - Just John Harbaugh

Reading between the lines of Harbaugh’s Giants Introductory Press Conference

A new era officially began today, as a pack of sweaty reporters gathered around a field they’ve likely never stepped foot on to ask the new coach of the New York Giants some introductory questions — all while us real reporters stuck at our office jobs slipped an AirPod in and listened to the YouTube stream like real professionals.

At approximately 12:04 PM, Joe Schoen stumbled onto the stage looking like he was ready to shit his pants. This was puzzling, given the fact that we’ve seen him address the media under far worse circumstances with significantly more confidence (HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR QUESTION). Perhaps this is some sort of survivor’s guilt. I don’t know.

Shortly after Schoen managed to embarrass himself on the day of his greatest triumph, our guy John donned the stage. I was slightly concerned that he’d take a page out of the Joe Judge book and bring some bullshit tough-guy act to the podium. But I quickly realized that there is nothing performative about this guy. He is unapologetically a football guy’s guy, through and through.

He was happy, appreciative, and comfortable as he fielded some admittedly easy questions from reporters. He calmly explained how and why he wanted to be here — citing the historical significance of the organization, a strong roster, and the quarterback room (Jameis included). He even shared a fun anecdote about how his dad called him up early in the process asking, “You watch the Giants?”

We greatly appreciate the endorsement, Jack.

Harbaugh predictably kept things close to the chest in terms of staffing and his overall plan to develop this roster into an eventual Super Bowl champion. But aside from his well-known “attack this day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind” mantra, he offered up this gem:

“If you love football, you’re gonna want to be here, because that’s what we’re gonna be doing — football. All the time. Every day. If there’s guys around that don’t love football, we’re gonna let those guys go play somewhere else. Because we’ll be doing football. That’s the plan.”

While a few too many characters for a t-shirt, his point was made, and I ate up every last crumb of it. It wasn’t forced, and he wasn’t trying to manufacture any sort of identity. He was explaining how he operates based on actual experience — not trying to convince or prove something to a fanbase that’s driven up Route 17 enough to spot a used car salesman.

My only gripe was not with Harbaugh, but with the aforementioned shill reporters. I get that everybody wants to kiss the teacher’s ass on the first day of school, but after spending the entire weekend pretending they knew exactly what was delaying the contract, nobody had the stones to ask John about it? Frauds.

While not a victory on the field (hopefully we get more than four of those next season), today further justified a reason for true optimism. This presser wasn’t littered with empty promises about turning the team into a perennial contender. We were simply given a peek behind the curtain of an established process with proven results.

When recounting a conversation Harbaugh had with Andy Reid — his mentor and someone who faced a similar career crossroads 13 years back — John said the only words of advice he received were: “Change can be good.”

I’m going to take Big Red’s word on that.

A Non-Disaster, Brought to You by the New York Giants

Against all odds, the Giants managed to land John Harbaugh…without screwing it up.

It’s no secret, the New York Giants have spent a majority of Joe Schoen’s tenure operating about as well as my 9-year-old self pulling the Adam’s Apple after a few too many Pixy Stix.

So despite the fact that a clear and obvious candidate emerged as the frontrunner for the team’s latest coaching vacancy, it was far from a given that the Giants’ brass would be able to get the deal done.

But by the grace of whatever god you believe in, “Slow Joe and the Failsons” somehow got the team ranked 27th in red-zone efficiency over the ever-elusive goal line.

The Giants have done everything wrong for so long. Typically, their bad hires and bad draft picks make them unavailable when good candidates or players emerge. Take, for example, the decision to retain Brian Daboll rather than engage in a coaching cycle that featured Mike Vrabel, Ben Johnson, and Liam Coen — or deciding to pass on Justin Herbert because Daniel Jones was selected the year prior.

This faulty judgement is typically brushed off as “bad timing” in a press conference where the fanbase is assured that we’re actually really close to contention. Giants fans no longer expect competence — we expect chaos, followed by a second press conference explaining how said chaos was actually part of the plan.

Needless to say, when Baltimore fired John Harbaugh and reports trickled in that the Super Bowl-winning coach actually preferred the Giants out of all the other vacancies, the fanbase eagerly awaited the latest installment of Schoen urinating down his pant leg.

On paper, the plan reeked of its extremely justified desperation.

The team flaunted Jaxson Dart around like some 2000s Abercrombie model. John Mara delayed his chemo to meet Harbaugh in person (please get back to your treatments, dude).

We hadn’t heard from Mr. Tisch in a what feels like a decade, yet Stevie fueled up the PJ and shipped Harbaugh up to Bergen County, where the Maras and Schoen planned their elaborate dinner date.

I’ve been to Elia several times since its opening in 2017. The food is undoubtedly solid, but I knew it would take more than some braised lamb, baba ghanoush, and repeatedly chanting “Smart, Tough, Dependable” to get pen to paper.

These are the minds that brought you “Deonte Banks is a 1st Rounder” and “Darren Waller has a lot left in the Tank”. I don’t know what they could’ve said to this man to convince him that East Rutherford, New Jersey, is a late-career retirement destination.

But somehow — the deal was (reportedly) done.

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Over the course of the next 72 hours, we learned that not only was the contract unsigned, but after promising Harbaugh the earth, moon, and stars — the future Hall of Fame coach actually wanted all of this in writing. The nerve!

The pain points of the contract remain somewhat of a mystery, but I can imagine the process involved Joe Schoen slowly negotiating away his own responsibilities while attempting to preserve whatever semblance of a job remained.

The pundits will say that this move brings stability to the organization — but its not even that. Harbaugh had a hard-on for our rich history, something his grandfather must’ve told him stories about. We had one of the better rosters in this cycle, largely by default. Most importantly, he wanted to be here and refused to even interview elsewhere.

This wasn’t a masterclass. It wasn’t all that impressive. It was simply a non-disaster — which feels like tremendous growth.

There are dozens of free-agency decisions and draft picks that we’ll have every opportunity to mishandle in the coming months. But on this day, we did something right, largely by not blowing the golden opportunity that fell directly into our laps.

So it goes without saying but…

The Giants are fucking back.

Youth in Revolt - Yankees vs Dodgers (Game 4 Recap)

When facing an 0–3 series deficit, there is never much reason for hope or belief in anything other than your team’s playoff run coming to an abrupt end. Call me crazy, but I don’t draw much inspiration from the ‘04 Red Sox highlights, as they represent a series of events that is as unlikely as it is traumatic.

The overarching feeling of dread heading into Game 4 quickly turned into acceptance, as Freddie Freeman hit yet another 2-run homer before the dinner plates made their way to the sink. This was shaking out to be a carbon copy of games 2 and 3 — which some would say would serve as a fitting end to this World Series.

But there would be no end on this night. For the first time since Freeman ripped their hearts out in Game 1, you saw fight from the New York Yankees.

Were these greaseballs the catalyst for last night’s winning effort? Probably not. But any dork trying to burn these dudes at the stake for trying to preserve one of our 27 precious outs either a) doesn’t love their team b) has never seen their team play in a championship or c) just fucking sucks to be around.

Betts wasn’t hurt, they ruled Gleyber out (despite Mookie not completing the process of the catch), and it provided a one-sided series with a much needed memorable moment. Find me a sports fan who hasn’t had 3 too many drinks pregame - because that loser needs some cooler friends.

In terms of the actual baseball game, the story of the night is Anthony Volpe. We’ve been beaten over the head with the stories of the local kid who watched Jeter and dreamed of being a Yankee. But lets be honest — his career thus far has left much to be desired. After making a Gleyber-esque error on the bases the inning prior, Volpe stepped into the box with 2-outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the 3rd — and finally provided fans with a signature moment.

When you end the night with 11 runs, its easy to forget the significance of Volpe’s grand salami. The Yanks were trailing 2–1 and on the verge of squandering a golden scoring opportunity after Rizzo popped out with the much-maligned bottom of the Yankee lineup due up. Seeing the youngest guy on the team have that “I refuse to lose” mentality we’ve desperately been seeking from the veterans was truly incredible.

That drive over the left field wall put the Yanks up 5–2 and not only provided the team with a spark, but forced Dave Roberts to move away from his high leverage relievers and seemingly concede Game 4 to the Yanks. Its obviously way too early to know whether or not that homer will hold any significance other than preserving the Yankees season another 24 hours, but god damnit was it great to see the future of this team grow up before our eyes and will this team to victory.

Although slightly overshadowed by Volpe’s legacy game, Austin Wells’ efforts should not be forgotten. While his double in the 2nd unfortunately didn’t serve as the initial spark for the offense, his upper deck nuke in the 6th served as the unofficial dagger when LA had cut the Yankee lead down to 1.

Wells has struggled more than any other Yankee this postseason. While Judge has shouldered most of the blame, people seem to forget that this offense was pure shit before Wells was inserted into the clean up spot over the summer. Its no coincidence that his offensive issues have had a negative ripple effect on the lineup in general.

It may very well be too little too late in terms of this series, but its hard not to be overwhelmingly happy for the kid who has clearly been going through it over the past few weeks. He’s hopefully another building block that will be asked to perform in these types of games for many years to come.

Luke Weaver would come in to embarrass the heart of the Dodger lineup, before the Yanks teed off on the single worst pitcher I’ve seen these playoffs to put the game completely out of reach.

I get that you’re obviously not going to blow your key arms in this situation, but if this 8th inning slugfest ends up restoring confidence in a broken lineup, I will forever thank Roberts for trotting out this Honeydick fellow.

Again, I want to emphasize that it is way too early for me to truly believe that the Yanks are going to pull off the impossible. But at the same time, its hard not to feel that tinge of hope and optimism after seeing the team get off the mat and show a bit of pride last night.

Sending this thing back to LA while also depriving these fucks of the opportunity to pop bottles in our building should be the current goal. Thinking about anything beyond that point is a meaningless exercise that I am choosing to avoid until it becomes much more of a potential reality (hopefully at around 11:30 PM tonight).

We’re going to need a herculean effort from Cole while also figuring out Flaherty, but tonight’s contest is yet another winnable game. Get it done and make these home fans proud to wear the pinstripes in the year’s final battle in the Bronx.

Down to One Last Breath - Yankees vs. Dodgers (Game 3 Recap)

Much like the 46,000 in attendance, I entered the night cautiously optimistic that the Yanks would come out with a strong effort in Game 3. Our pitching staff had performed relatively well to this point and the bats would surely respond to the raucous Bronx crowd. And look! Jeter is throwing out the first pitch!

The last morsel of faith I had in this team faded away the second Fat Joe (Scary Movie 3, Happy Feet) began his horrible 9-minute, Ecko Unltd-ass mashup of Z100 songs you hate. Mr. Joe scuffed up the infield with his dumbass Timbs while offering a comprehensive preview of the evening - lagging a full second behind his backing track, similar to the Yanks on 1st pitch fastballs.

While much of the Game 3 blame should be attributed to the offense, Clarke Schmidt did the Yankees absolutely no favors. With the crowd somehow engaged after Fat’s performance, he missed the zone by 2 feet on 4 consecutive pitches to lead off the game. Ohtani stood on 1st in some sort of modified eagle pose, relieved he didn’t need to even think about swinging the bat with his busted shoulder.

Schmidt’s lack of control would be the theme of his extremely short night, as he missed the zone on 31 of his 68 pitches. That of course does not include the cookie he served up to future World Series MVP, Freddie Freeman - who could barely keep his veneers in his mouth as he trotted around the bases for the 3rd time in as many games.

Clarke led off the 3rd with yet another, non-competitive, 4-pitch walk - this time, to the 9-hitter. Edman would then be driven in on a jam shot to right by Mookie Betts to give LA a 3-0 lead. As it turns out, this deficit would be completely insurmountable as the “Bombers” gave us one of the worst offensive performances you’ll ever see.

Buehler definitely deserves some credit for pounding the zone - but for the life of me, I do not understand why the entire Yankee lineup decided to spend the night taking fastballs right down the dick with their season on the line!

The fans’ desperate attempt to “Trea Turner” ovate Judge back to life was an abject failure. However, his 0-3 with a walk (and just 1 strikeout!) served as one of the better offensive showings from this pathetic ass lineup.

Besides Stanton (so fucking tired of saying this) no one had remotely competitive at bats. Batter after batter fell behind in the count, while praying to be walked by a Dodger staff that threw nothing but strikes. Do you guys see the fucking monuments in center field? Does anyone have the slightest urge to join these guys as the legend that dragged the 2024 Yankees back from the dead? Nope - Jazz and company are probably still bitching about strike calls while our World Series drought approaches 2 decades.

Every talking head is having a field day roasting Rojas for sending Stanton in the 4th - but can you really blame him? He’s been 90 feet away from 2.5 games worth of offensive incompetence. Waving Giancarlo’s broken bones around 3rd and forcing Teoscar to make a throw gives us a better chance of scoring than hoping this lineup strings together 3 hits in an inning.

The sickest joke of the night is of course Verdugo going yahtzee with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th. Great, let’s restore our idiot manager’s confidence in the one guy he might have replaced as we face elimination for the next week (potentially 12 hours). This was the least competitive 4-2 game you’ll ever see and my heart truly goes out to those poor Yankee fans that just blew thousands of dollars to witness this nonsense in person.

I’d love to give some sort of “rah rah” miracle speech to close this thing out, but its just not in me right now. I’ve seen far too many Boone-led playoff losses that look just like this one to truly believe that this team is capable of pulling off the impossible.

How about you prove me wrong? How about you show some balls instead of crying to umpires and going down in the most pathetic fashion imaginable? Is that too really too much to ask?

A California Nightmare - Yankees vs. Dodgers (Game 2 Recap)

We’ve spent weeks finding parallels between this Yankees team and championship winning squads of the past. “Volpe is coming into his own like Jeter in ‘96.” “Stanton is gonna go Reggie on the Dodgers.” “Tim Hill is our Dámaso Marte.”

As it turns out, this group isn’t anything like those teams and is instead paying homage to the 2020 Yankees - a postseason in which no one hit aside from Stanton and the Bombers went down quietly in front of a clueless opposing fanbase (Tampa’s cardboard cutouts, Fans of the LA Dodgers).

For the second consecutive night, the Yanks faced a pitcher that many fans believed would be wearing pinstripes in 2024. As we all know, Ohtani deferred the entirety of his contract til after the planet explodes - which allowed the Dodgers to back up the Brinks Truck for Yamamoto - which then allowed Yamamoto to back up our colons with that weird torpedo he tosses around.

How fucking dumb am I to think that Rodon vs. Yoshi would somehow be an advantage for the Yankees? Thank god Roberts pulled him after 86 pitches, otherwise we’d probably be looking at 8 innings of 1 hit, 1 run ball while being subjected to that stupid Japanese breakfast feed 7 more times.

The aforementioned 1 hit and 1 run came via a solo blast from Soto, tying the game at 1 after Rodon allowed a homer to Tommy Edman the inning prior. If you thought this would allow Rodon to settle back into the game, you would be sorely mistaken.

With two outs in the 3rd Inning - Mookie single, Teoscar 2-Run bomb, Freddie bomb. For the second time this postseason, Rodon absolutely imploded in the first third of a game, giving the Dodgers all the run support they needed to defeat this offensively challenged iteration of the Yankees.

I don’t how this is still happening? I fucking love Judge and tried to bite my tongue on the issue for as long as I could but at this point, it’s just pathetic.

How does one of the best hitters in our lifetime come up this flat in the playoffs? Not only have I lost all confidence in his at bats, but I’m CERTAIN he’s going to strike out. He is consistently fanning at the 2 feet outside, off-speed garbage, then gets gassed by mediocre fastballs.

It feels like he’s coming up with men on every time - and just consistently leaving them stranded. I don’t know how you keep batting him third, we need Stanton in these spots or we’re going to get fucking swept.

The one positive to take away from this game is that the B-Tier bullpen guys pitched phenomenally and kept LA stuck at 4 when you assumed they’d blow the game open. Outside of Rodon and the Nestor debacle (did you see Tim Hill tonight?), the Yankees staff has overall done a great job against LA. If this continues and our offense decides to contribute anything at all, this series is far from over.

The Yankees apparently got that memo in the top of the ninth, when they decided to show their first and only signs of life of the evening. Soto single, (Judge Strikeout), Stanton RBI single, Jazz Single, Rizzo hit by pitch.

The bombers were set with bases loaded, 1 out, down 4-2.

Much like this Yankees rally, Anthony Volpe and Jose Trevino proved to be too little, too late on the respective sweeper and fastballs that retired the duo to end the game.

I’m fucking scared and sad, there’s no other way to put it. We pitched well enough to win both of these games, Stanton and Soto continue to rake - but much like Lindsay Lohan, we leave LA empty handed.

The good news is we have three in the Bronx to keep our season alive - starting with the shittiest dude in their rotation, a bullpen game, and then Cole back on the hill for Game 5. While we’ve forfeited any margin for error, these are extremely winnable games.

But let’s be real, it’s time to nut up or shut up. I know damn well we CAN beat this team but they have to fucking prove it. Boone needs to make the right decisions, Judge needs to get his head out of his ass, and the team has to show some serious balls for the first time this postseason.

Winning 4 of 5 is daunting, but it’s gotta start with 1. See you all in the Bronx Monday Night.

Go Yanks.

A First Round Gut Punch - Yankees v Dodgers (Game 1 Recap)

After spending much of the week fully enthralled in all the pomp, circumstance, and Morgan Freeman voiceover montages that the World Series has to offer - I found myself much more eager than nervous for these games to start.

I was well aware that the quality of opponent had finally reached an acceptable level for all the insufferable pests in my life, but also felt like we stacked up quite well against LA.

While Friday Night was visual proof that we can indeed play with these guys, Game 1 unfortunately also serves as a major missed opportunity for the Yanks to immediately take control of the series.

As my father has said so many times before…”Ya fucked up Boone!”

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of the Game 1 Loss is the wasted Gerrit Cole performance. While the strikeout numbers aren’t necessary prime Cole, our little psychopath didn’t shy away from the strike zone against a loaded Dodger lineup, allowing 0 walks and just 4 hits over 6+ innings.

There were undoubtedly some near misses as well as some potential would-be Yankee Stadium souvenirs - but Cole navigating through the heart of the Dodger lineup 3 times and keeping the Yanks in this game for the entirety of the evening shouldn’t be lost due to the end result.

The most frustrating part of all of this is that the Yankees starting pitching is arguably our biggest advantage in the series. On a night where your ace gives you 6 innings of 1 run ball, you can’t have some injury prone journeyman giving you the same treatment.

Jack Flahrety was essentially able to match Cole’s effort, tossing 5.1 innings of his own. The Yanks had a bit more traffic on the bases, but each time a runner entered scoring position, Flahrety would showcase his wipeout knuckle curve and embarrass whoever was standing in the box (mainly Judge).

The back looks ok from here Cashman!

The Yanks did eventually get to Flahrety in the 6th, thanks to a leadoff single by Soto and yet another Playoff Stanton moonshot.

I truly don’t know where we’d be without this guy. What began as “tongue in cheek” applause, has now developed into nightly praise that still somehow feels like an understatement for G’s dominance. Every game it’s a massive tank job, in a massive moment. Had it not been for several inexcusable miscues (which we’ll get to shortly), this 2-run jack would’ve proved to be the eventual game winner.

Then of course our old friend - “Gleyber’s lackadaisical defense” reemerged just in time to fuck up the winning effort. A Shohei Ohtani rocket double turned into a triple after Torres lazily backhanded a short hop that skipped into no-man’s land.

LA then cashed in on their second sac fly opportunity via shotty defense to tie the game at 2. However, the stage would soon be set for Torres’s redemption in the 9th.

Obviously the broadcast couldn’t wait to make the Jeffrey Maier comparisons, but there’s one big difference here. This fucking idiot was leaning over the fence to snag a go-ahead homer for the OPPOSING team.

This sums up LA sports fandom entirely. This could’ve cost his team the game, but this bozo didn’t care, as long as he was able to snag the $8 souvenir to validate the shitty story he’ll retell every time he and his friends get into a bag of coke. Truly disgusting behavior.

The outcome was unchanged as Torres would be stranded on 2nd regardless of whether this adult diaper model reached over the wall. Regardless, the whole thing made me irrationally angry and it made me realize that the only thing this fanbase deserves is a tidal wave to their Malibu beach houses.

While it took 2 rounds and 10 innings, it was damn nice of Jazz Chisholm to show up for this year’s playoffs. His leadoff single and two stolen bases put him in position to score on an Anthony Volpe groundout with the infield playing in.

Jazz also made a sick play at third (while also playing in) to keep the Dodgers from scoring in a similar situation. His overall effort tonight is definitely a positive to take away from a night that would turn miserable just 20 minutes later.

With Holmes, Kahnle, and Weaver used earlier in the game, it was up to Jake Cousins to work through the bottom of the Dodger order and secure the Game 1 victory.

A walk and an infield single (potentially a game ending DP) ended Cousins’ night as Shohei Ohtani came up to the plate.

It was at this moment that Aaron Boone couldn’t resist the smell of his own shit and brought in Nestor Cortes in relief over …I don’t know - anyone who has pitched in the past 40 days? Or anyone who is comfortable coming out of the pen?

Nestor was actually able to retire Ohtani thanks to Alex Verdugo making one of the most impressive catches you’ll never remember. Boone then intentionally walked Betts to load the bases for Freeman. The rest will live in your respective social media feeds forever.

If you’re gonna give Freeman a 93 mph cookie down the middle, why not cut out the middle man and chuck that shit over the fence yourself?

I know this might come across as Monday Morning Quarterbacking, but this game was won if Tim Hill comes in. He’s dominated lefties our entire playoff run! Worse case scenario we have a guy who can’t run making soft contact to end the game.

This was beyond mindless. Are we trying to force storylines or win the World Series? Do fucking better.

That sucked. There’s no other way to put it. We had a shot to put this team on the ropes and instead we have ourselves in a pseudo “must-win” just 4 hours into the World Series.

We pitched this game well enough to win, but even the most optimistic/moronic Yankee fans can’t expect this type of effort moving forward. Time to hit the fucking ball boys!

Hey Aaron, it was great seeing you take pictures with Jeter pregame. How about you fucking act like him and get this time up off the mat. You have your first real adversity this post season. It’s time for the captain to bring this team back before it’s too late.

We’re Baaaaack - Yankees vs Guardians (Game 5 Recap)

I guess Cleveland hadn’t heard the incessant whining about how easy the Yankees path to a World Series was - because these pesky Guards really thought they had a chance in this series.

To me, Cleveland is the perfect postseason foe. They’re scrappy and annoying enough to be somewhat competitive - which allows my team to produce electrifying moments and memories that will last a lifetime - while they also are never quite good enough to serve as an actual threat.

Think of Cleveland as a nice sparring partner, a good warm up set before you max out your bench, or a little brother you try out new characters on in Super Smash Bros.

But alas, all good things (i.e. series against mediocre teams) must come to an end. While Cleveland’s story has concluded, ours will continue to a place we haven’t been in 15 long years.

Ladies and (mostly) Gentlemen - I am pleased to announce…

We’re Baaaaack!

The Yanks began the night with a Gleyber Torres leadoff single, followed by a Soto gapper. I fully understand trying to set the tone early, but Rojas sending Gleyber with no outs in that situation is inexcusable. Allowing Torres to get gunned down at the plate not only allowed a rattled Bibee to settle in, but caused the Yanks to leave an inning with 4 baserunners completely scoreless.

To me, Rodon’s start felt a lot better than the final stat line would indicate. He was missing bats and pounding the zone - but a few lengthy ABs destroyed his pitch count and emptied his gas tank.

The Guardians were opportunistic in the early innings. They didn’t have many baserunners but converted in each of their early opportunities. Through 5, Cleveland held a 2-0 lead.

Desperate to get length out of a starting pitcher for the first time this series - Bibee came out for the 6th to face the top of the Yankee lineup. Major shoutout to Vogt, who continues to pitch to Stanton despite having 1st and 2nd base open with 2 outs. I can’t tell if this guy is too prideful to throw up the 4, afraid of Jazz Chisholm, or just a straight up moron.

Regardless - tie ball game bozo.

It was then up to the least trustworthy guys in our bullpen to hold the line. Mark Leiter Jr., Tim Hill (probably doesn’t deserve to be included here), and Jake Cousins came up huge with 3.1 scoreless innings in relief.

With the recent struggles of Holmes, we will undoubtedly need these guys to continue to contribute. I know it was just the Guardians, but hopefully success in these crucial situations serves as a building block for the dudes in the back pages of Boone’s phonebook.

Smith, Herrin, and Clase dominated innings 6 through 9 which sent this one into extras - where flamethrower Hunter Gaddis would take the pill.

A walk to Austin Wells and an inexplicably bad error by the Guardian shortstop set the table for the heart of the Yankee lineup. With 2 outs and 2 on, the stage was set for the showdown of the postseason.

Juan Soto stood in that box and simply demanded a fastball, spoiling slider after slider, as well as a pair of changeups. You could tell by Soto’s crazed nods after each pitch that he was seeing the ball clearly and just needed Gaddis to give in to his demands.

The result - a high heater that wasn’t high enough. And a three run jack that will live in Yankee lore for eternity.

The time to stress about Soto’s pending free agency will come - but for now, I would implore any Yankee fan to simply enjoy the show this guy puts on each and every night. He is as cold blooded a hitter as we’ve ever seen and watching him completely bitch some of the best pitchers in the game, in the biggest moments is not something that should be taken for granted.

I fucking love this guy and he’s proven to be everything we could’ve expected and more. I can’t wait to see him talk his shit and smoke some overrated ass pitchers in the World Series.

From there, all that was left to do was for Luke Weaver to get back on the horse and close out yet another Yankee Victory. This one of course, would feel a little more special.

And just like that - we’re onto the Fall Classic. While our opponent remains unknown, I have to say I like our chances against whoever comes out of the NL. The big boys are mashing, the arms will be rested, and we’re the mother fucking New York Yankees.

Again - I’d like to thank everyone for reading my stuff and supporting me throughout this series. While the battle of the AL is won, the war for the baseball immortality has just begun.

“See ya!” Next weekend.

Go Yanks.

A Wild Ride in Six Flags Cleveland - Yankees vs Guardians (Game 4 Recap)

After suffering one of the more crushing defeats of this postseason, it was paramount that the Yankees come out of the gate quickly in Game 4. The Guards were riding a Pe’ahi 70-foot wave of momentum that needed to be stopped before hitting (Cleve)land. I did not want this series tied and more importantly, I did not want these lunatic fans to have any reason to believe.

When Soto starts the game with a 2-run homer, I thought - “We had finally broken them”. All the bad juju from the night prior had been erased and the Yanks would cruise to a 3-1 series lead.

Little did I know that I was about to witness one of the wildest, back and forth, shit show rollercoasters of a playoff game these eyes have ever seen.

Right off the bat - you knew both starters weren’t sniffing the fifth inning. Williams is giving up jacks to Austin Wells of all people and Gil is missing the zone by 2 feet, while also getting blooped to death.

Through 5, the Yanks led 3-2. With both pens completely spent, it was time to buckle up for the inevitable series of heart attacks we were on the verge of experiencing.

Soto’s lead off walk, followed by a Judge single set the table for the Yanks in the 6th. Jazz then laid down a nice sacrifice bunt that would prove to be unnecessary as Playoff Giancarlo would strike once more.

The three run shot sent Hudson Hall into an absolute frenzy - as I ordered another round of picklebacks and started my 14th “Let’s Go Yankees” chant of the evening (surely I wasn’t being obnoxious or annoying in any way).

And then - Clay Holmes enters the game in the 7th and firmly declared that he is indeed - back on his bullshit. Consecutive doubles by Ramirez and Naylor drove in the Cousins’ inheritance and the Yankee lead was quickly down to one.

I don’t know what I did to deserve Mark Leiter Jr. returning to the active roster, let alone pitching in the bottom of the 8th inning. I put zero blame on the cameraman who thought Big Christmas deposited that hanger into the Cuyahoga - because I sure as hell did too.

Just when you thought he would miraculously get out of his latest jam unscathed, he boots a soft comebacker and proceeds to nutmeg Rizzo in one of the most inexplicably terrible plays you’ll ever see.

Rizzo is definitely at blame here as well as the ball seemingly phased through both his glove and body. I’m not sure how fractured fingers have had such a negative impact on his defense but the guy isn’t making any plays outside of the most routine variety. This has to be figured out ASAP before it ends up costing us against a good baseball team.

With the game tied entering the ninth, Emmanuel Clase entered the contest looking for his shot at redemption. I regret to inform the entire city of Cleveland that he’d better keep on looking!

Rizzo single, Volpe Single, double steal, infield RBI single by Verdugo. We had Guardians’d the Guardians with the small ball bullshit they pride themselves on. A Gleyber drive up the middle tacked on the 5th run against Clase in just 2 innings of work.

For reference, Mariano Rivera allowed just 11 earned runs in his entire postseason career (141 Innings Pitched). So maybe keep the goat’s name out of your mouth Nathan.

With Weaver on the shelf, Tommy Kahnle would neutralize a final Guardian threat in the ninth and give the Yankees a hard fought 3-1 series lead.

In all seriousness, Cleveland deserves some credit for their performance these past two games. They’ve battled back from certain death and have forced the Yanks into facing some much needed adversity.

So bravo Guardians. You’ve made this series much more fun than I had anticipated. Unfortunately for you, I fully expect it to end later tonight, leaving you all with nothing but Deshaun Watson to entertain you the rest of the fall. Ta ta!

An Epic Comeback gets Fry’d - Yankees vs Guardians (ALCS Game 3 Recap)

I’m roughly 12 hours removed from one of the wilder playoff games in recent memory and truly don’t know how to abridge my thoughts and feelings into a single shitty blog post. I was 1 strike away from confidently titling this write-up “A Master Clase: Judge and Stanton Kill Cleveland” — yet here I am having to type about some fucker named “Big Christmas”. I’m still confident the Yanks will inevitably get by the Guards, but unfortunately the ALCS won’t be the complete and utter mockery I had hoped for.

I suppose it’s time for me to try the local Cleveland cruise and eat some crow.

The game started with yet another lefty junk baller completely decimating our lineup. Had it not been for Josh Naylor’s inability to move vertically or horizontally, the Yanks would’ve been blanked by Boyd through 5. Of course, this lackluster effort was greatly aided by Jose Trevino, who committed the team’s nightly baserunning error to snuff out a 2nd inning rally.

In quite literally every game the Yanks have played this postseason, they have a major opportunity in the early innings and have completely failed to put teams away. While the pickoffs and K’s in these situations haven’t necessarily killed them as of yet, it has forced Boone into using the high leverage relievers on a nightly basis.

Turns out, it would be time to pay the piper for the early game ineptitude a few hours later.

Clarke Schmidt was his usual self. It seems as though he’ll never be able to get deep into games (especially in the playoffs) and the one or two mistakes will equate to his earned run total for the evening. Manzardo’s 2-run blast off Schmidt gave the Guards their first lead of the series. This would then allow Vogt to finally deploy his 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Cleveland, Ohio) that have proven to be lethal in innings 6 through 9.

In the 6th, both of Boone’s roster change decisions blew up in his gum chomping face. Berti booted a routine grounder, leading to Ian Hamilton being injured while awkwardly covering first. This then led to Tim Mayza entering the game and missing low on roughly 14 consecutive sliders. Trevino’s inability to control the run game led to a runner on third - and with the infield playing in, Gimenez was able to single on a soft a ground ball to give the Guards a 3–1 lead.

Boone got cute and played right into their small ballin’ hands. Be better.

On a night where the Yanks had just 3 hits through 7 innings, I had basically accepted the fact that they would go down quietly as they have in so many of these playoff losses. Clase was coming down the stairs to record 4 outs, the first of which being Aaron Judge — who had seemingly lost any sort of positive momentum he had from game 2 with a trio of terrible at bats earlier in the night.

His game-tying, 2-run, piss-missile sent me into complete euphoria. This is a game the Yankees have lost (and still would end up losing) so many times in past postseasons. But not this year, this is finally it. We’re going to win the World Series.

And then — Giancarlo tanks one off Clase to give the Yanks a 4–3 lead. I cackled as Vogt pathetically challenged whether Stanton missed the bag as he danced around the bases. This team was dead, we have killed them and they’ve decided to go out like total punks and I was savoring every second of it.

But baseball can be a funny game sometimes…

After being the backbone of every Yankee victory thus far, Luke Weaver would give up a 400-foot double followed by a 750-foot homer with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth. Cleveland had done it, they’d played their Chief Wahoo Uno Reverse Card right in my stupid face and not only tied the game, but saved their season.

Clay Holmes would then get similar treatment in the bottom of the 10th, as David Fry tanked a game winner deep into the night.

If there is a silver lining to be found in getting walked off in devastating fashion — its that this loss wasn’t of the pathetic variety we’re so accustomed to. We mounted the epic comeback against their top guy and then our overtaxed bullpen finally got clipped. It definitely hurts knowing we should be up 3–0, preparing for a champagne shower later tonight — but at the same time, we saw our best players actually come up in the clutch for the first time this decade.

While that 8th inning will be forgotten by most, there should be a sense of optimism in the fact that we took a desperate team’s best punch and still have a golden opportunity to close out the series later this weekend. The whole identity of this Guardians team is using their bullpen to win games when they’re up after 5. We just blew that shit up in epic fashion because their pen is even more overworked than ours.

I’m glad Cleveland had their Hallmark moment to commemorate their 4th place season - but that shit ain’t happening 3 more times.

I fully expect this Yankees team to come back with a vengeance in game 4.

The Return of the King - Yankees vs Guardians (Game 3 Recap)

Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Cleveland? While I fully expected to blow by you en route to the fall classic, I admittedly welcomed some sort of a fight. Where is the incredible defense? Where are the pesky at bats? Where is Emmanuel Clase?

After a pair of easy home victories, I don’t see how this Guardians squad even makes it to the first light on the fifth day.

I was under the impression this Bibee was an ace? Not only was I lied to, but I felt completely cheated watching this guy serve up meatballs like he’s Rizzo’s Nona. I know our first run was the product of a pop up bouncing out of Gimenez’s gold glove — but the second inning couldn’t have been more of a disaster for the Cleveland starter.

The bottom of the Yankee lineup added another run before loading the bases and sending Bibee to the showers after recording just 4 outs. We knew Vogt was going to lean on his pen in a pseudo “must-win”, but I seriously doubt he wanted to start this process in the 2nd inning. At 3–0, the stadium was absolutely rocking and it felt like a rout was on the horizon.

Unfortunately, this was not the case due to Gerrit Cole struggling once again. After escaping jams in the 3rd and 4th innings, Cole’s lack of command finally caught up with him in the 5th. Had it not been for Josh Naylor seemingly inventing a new strand of diabetes, he probably would have hit a series altering grand slam on a 2–0 cookie right down the middle. Nonetheless, the resulting sac fly and Cole’s 4th walk of the evening led to yet another premature exit for the “star” pitcher.

As much as I’d like to bitch and moan about a second terrible start for Cole, the reemergence of Clay Holmes turned out to be the prevailing narrative. The once disgraced closer cleaned up Cole’s mess and preserved the Yankee lead. Holmes has appeared in all 6 playoff games and has allowed just 3 hits and 2 walks in 6.2 scoreless innings. He deserves all the credit in the world for shutting out the noise and doing his damn job. Take notes Gerrit.

One of the nicer Yankee rallies of the postseason was marred by horrendous base running — however an Anthony Rizzo double and some heads up baserunning by Anthony Volpe gave the bombers a 4–2 lead through 6.

While the Staten Island creatures at the ballpark appreciated this celebration of Italian Heritage, I needed to see the big boys contribute to truly become my most ignorant, obnoxious self. Enter the captain, who had once again left a half dozen stranded in the early innings…

At that point, I was so scarred by Judge fly balls being caught by the centerfielder, that I barely reacted to this one off the bat. I had no faith in that ball carrying over the wall and when it did — I finally let out my first primal roar of these of these playoffs. Our captain had gotten the monkey off of his back and flung that bitch deep to right center.

The constant criticism of one of the greatest players I’ve had the luxury of rooting for was honestly starting to weigh on me. Earlier in the game, they intentionally walked the bases loaded to get to the AL MVP. In what world is this possible? Who the fuck do the Guardians think they are?

If this sign of disrespect serves as the catalyst for a Judgean heater in this series and more importantly — the next one, then I truly don’t see anyone stopping this team. Last night finally provided me with the last piece of evidence I needed to truly believe that a championship is a true possibility.

This series should by no means be returning to New York. Finish this team off and we’ll be here to welcome you back with open arms in the World Series.