Thanks for Keeping Us Loose, Boston!

WOOOOO! Nothing like the taste of warm coffee and dirty water (still don’t know what that means) the morning after sending your rivals packing. For the second night in a row, the New York Yankees completely dominated the Boston Red Sox, ending their October campaign on September 30th.

Without Roman Anthony (OUT – broken fingernail), Boston’s quadruple-A lineup didn’t stand a chance against Max Fried and his C+ stuff. I had quite the laugh upon realizing that the same Jahmai Jones who served exclusively as Stanton’s pinch runner during the 2024 season was now batting leadoff for the Sox in an elimination game. I half expected Tyler Wade to be batting cleanup, with Chase Headley waiting in the wings if we brought in a lefty.

I’m genuinely curious how many innings it would take this lineup to match the 18 runs we hung on them. I estimate it would be around 1,000 — give or take.

Speaking of old Yankees, shoutout to Sonny Gray — not only for pitching much better than I expected, but also for his touching tribute to Michael Pineda. Between the comically sideways cap and a borderline blackface amount of pine tar, I think he had Tracy convinced he was, in fact, Big Mike. So much so that the Boston skipper decided to yank his starter after 4.2 innings for the second night in a row.

Sox Twitter seems pretty pissed at Tracy, and I’m not totally sure why. Did he make a single good decision the entire (short) series? No. But after seeing what we did to Crochet and Whitlock, I’m not certain there were any good buttons to be pressed.

After the game, Sonny Gray said, “I would have liked to have been trusted in that moment,” but how can his manager truly believe the words of a man who has shied away from the big innings for the better part of a decade? The decision was clear and obvious — Tracy had no choice but to call upon his lefty specialist, Erik Miller, who struggled mightily against our lefties the night prior.

After an ill-advised Luis Rojas send killed the Yankee rally, it looked like Tracy’s gamble might pay off when Wilson Contreras ended Boston’s 26-inning playoff scoring drought with a solo shot to cut the lead to 2-1. Instead of building any sort of momentum for his own team, this jackass decided to literally walk around the bases, pissing off the Yankees while simultaneously making a total ass of himself.

Thankfully, his lackadaisical effort carried over to the field, as he decided to field a throw to first on the back-right corner of the bag, kickstarting the rally that would serve as the eventual nail in the Boston’s coffin.

That sixth inning was everything for me. Jones busting it out of the box on a strikeout and then stealing a pair of bags. Lombard drilling a single to right à la Jeter. Known speedster Trent Grisham bunting for a hit. A pair of sacrifice RBIs. And a vintage three-run porch job from Belli to put this team to bed.

I can’t speak any more fondly about what I’ve seen from the Yankee offense thus far. We’ve now seen both the righty and lefty renditions of the lineup, and both have sprayed the ball all over the park. Eighteen runs and 26 hits in 16 innings is nothing short of phenomenal. It finally feels like we’re scoring runs in a way that’s conducive to winning postseason games. There have been so few noncompetitive at-bats; everyone and their backup is up there grinding, and we’re still delivering the knockout-punch homers late.

I’m not naïve to the fact that the road ahead will be much more difficult, but having this sort of offensive momentum has me fully believing we have a shot at winning this thing.

Defeating Tampa will be no small task. Their manager doesn’t shelter an entire family of rocks between his ears, their lineup can actually score runs, and we’ll be forced to play baseball in that astroturfed hellhouse of theirs. While I don’t expect a walk in the park (not sure Tropicana fits that billing), I’m happy to be coming in red-hot rather than potentially over-rested.

So, thanks for keeping us loose, Boston! We hope to see you again in 2028! Enjoy Drake Maye’s unraveling and the impending Diana Russini tell-all interview!

Fuck Around and Find Out. Yanks in 2.

Despite the fact that you couldn’t have scripted a more perfect start to the postseason, I can’t say I’m surprised. In fact, I essentially leaked the game script yesterday. You could play this game 1,000 times, and it was always going to end with Cam Schlittler dominating this team. Last night just happened to be the 6.1 scoreless, 10-strikeout, 117-pitch variety, where you never felt for a second that Boston was going to break through.

While this may come across as a slight to Gerrit Cole and the aces of Yankees past, Cam just isn’t a guy you need to feign confidence in. He comes up big in these spots every single time. We are beyond lucky to have this lanky lunatic on our team. Having him pitch two games per series the rest of the way gives us a puncher’s chance against anyone.

Now how about that Yankee offense?

Despite things feeling tense with the game sitting at 1-0 heading into the fifth, you were getting great at-bats and contributions up and down the lineup. Austin Wells, a guy we all wanted replaced at the deadline—ironically by Adley Rutschman—comes up with the big RBI single early on. Anthony Volpe, who I hoped to never hear from again after the first day of the George Lombard experience, gets the hit to set the table earlier in that inning and is laying down sac bunts to help blow the game open.

And what else can you really say about Ben Rice?

Without Judge and Stanton for a majority of the year, the kid has carried this team from a power-hitting perspective and came up massive Tuesday night. A triple shy of the cycle in the bottom of the eighth, Benny Boy instead opted for the Grand Salami that officially put this one into complete laugher territory.

Ironically, the only guys who didn’t really join the party were the righties who played specifically to combat the left-handed starter. You’d be a rare breed of asshole to nitpick Boone on a night where he made 99% of the right calls—especially letting Cam go back out for the seventh—but this is definitely something to monitor as I’m unsure how much more “3-hole” Heliot Ramos I need these playoffs.

And just like that, we’re onto our old pal Sonny Gray.

Everyone knows the story by now. He was an abject failure in New York, the poster child for “the lights were too bright,” yet after exiling himself to Middle American Mediocrity Baseball for seven years, he emerges and suddenly wants to be a part of high-stakes innings again?

“I will say what did factor into my decision to come to Boston is it feels good to me to go to a place now where it’s easy to hate the Yankees.”

I know this pissed off some Yankee fans at the time, but honestly, all I can do is laugh at the poor guy. You can’t even be a little more demonstrative in your blatant pandering attempt?

It was always easy for you to hate us because that’s how your excuse-making, “why me?” brain works.

To anyone going to the game Wednesday: boo this man. He’ll push the bully/victim button regardless, so you might as well get under his paper-thin skin.

I’m glad the Red Sox “let you go out and be yourself.” I’m even more glad I get to witness you crap down your leg in an elimination game, in 4K nonetheless.

On the complete opposite side of the coin is Max Fried, who also came from a smaller market yet has lived up to the billing in his two seasons in New York. While Schlittler’s complete and utter dominance is a tough act to follow, I fully expect Max to mow down whatever is left of this anemic Red Sox lineup.

Even though Cam threw a ton more off-speed than we’re accustomed to, Fried still gives Boston a completely different look, mixing in three different breaking balls to go with a trio of fastballs. As long as he throws strikes, expect tons of soft contact and for him to go very deep into the game.

Boston will be feeling the pressure. You could argue Chad Tracy already was last night when he tried to steal outs with low-leverage bums after pulling Tolle in the fifth. Expect Whitlock and Chapman early, unless Tracy wants to continue saving them until next August, after the lockout ends.

Regardless of whatever kitchen sink is tossed our way, it is paramount that we close this team out tonight. We have much bigger fish to fry, and we need to be as healthy and rested as possible when we face a real challenge in Tampa.

Tonight it will be, and always has been:

Yanks in 2.

Fuck Boston, Cam Schlittler is on the Mound

Well, the day has finally come. The matchup we’ve long been anticipating, yet fully expected for months, has arrived. Tonight, the “Run It Back” Yankees hope to run back their 2025 Wild Card performance by once again eliminating the Boston Red Sox.

While the uniforms remain the same, the teams are both in drastically different places this time around. The Yankees are without their captain, yet have established a new identity centered around a dominant starting pitching staff. Locked into their playoff position, they’ve spent much of the past month working injured veterans back into their starting positions. Meanwhile, the Sox had bottomed out, ditched their longtime skipper, gone on one of the hottest hot streaks I’ve ever seen, and then returned to mediocre play over the final six weeks of the season.

Both sides have undoubtedly felt the extreme effects of the ups and downs that only a 162-game season can deliver. Both have faced their fair share of adversity and relied on major contributions from unsung heroes. And each fanbase should feel fully confident that their team’s A-game will result in the timely demise of their hated rival.

If you want to read more about Boston’s path to victory, maybe consult the nearest Bible or Quran, because there is not a chance in hell the Yankees lose to this rag-tag squad of losers.

As far as I’m concerned, the majority of the conversations focused on lefty/righty matchups, defensive replacements, and bullpen decisions are moot points. If the Yankees want to make any noise whatsoever this postseason, it is fully dependent on our starters shoving it up our opponents’ proverbial asses.

Looking at this Boston lineup, I fully expect all of our guys to go seven-plus, rack up Ks, and surrender one run or less. This, of course, all starts with the American League Cy Young winner: Cam Schlittler.

For those of you who may have forgotten one of the greatest closeout pitching performances in MLB history, what’d you get hit in the head? Cam walked onto the mound as a rookie, in a winner-take-all game, and went eight shutty with a 12-pack of strikeouts, sending his boyhood team packing to their syringe-covered beach of choice.

The city of Boston never fully recovered, as they have since spent the last 12 months writing fan fiction about him being some sort of Robot-Bully-Nazi. Then, the second my guy shoots off a joke reply on Twitter, you get little weirdos like Carrabis pushing narratives that Boston remains in his head.

That’s like Fireman Ed saying he makes Tom Brady nervous, only in Ed’s instance, he actually beat the Patriots once a decade. Schlittler has 39 Ks and a 0.56 ERA against Boston. That’s less than half the GPA of the dumbasses who choose to provoke the guy who has smoked them time and time again.

Payton Tolle seems like a good dude, but there are levels to this shit, and tonight, Schlittler adds yet another “Fuck Boston” performance to his resume.

Offensively, the Yankees lineup remains rough around the edges. It might get a little sweaty if they struggle to score early, given our historical struggles against the back of Boston’s pen—specifically, that actual scumbag, Aroldis Chapman.

Again, it’s not worth outlining who needs to get a big hit when, because we’re going to be platooning a number of positions and pinch-hitting in response to bullpen moves throughout this three-game set. Any reliance on guys who haven’t played in months (i.e., Stanton and Grisham) obviously doesn’t make you feel great, but we just need one or two guys to step up, and that should be all the run support we need to get out of tonight unscathed.

Despite the Judge story continuing to get more bizarre by the hour, he really should not be the concern over the next two days. While I’ve spent more time researching the effects of anti-gravity treadmills than I’d care to admit, we really don’t need to force another borderline-handicapped Kirk Gibson type into this lineup.

I’m confident Judge’s story still needs to be told and that he will be a contributor if this team ever does get over the hump. But that needs to remain a conversation for another day.

Tonight, the focus is Schlittler to Bednar to a 1-0 series lead and a closeout game against Sonny Gray. I know the Bronx will be rocking. I know Schlittler will deal. The only question that remains is which one of the Yankee bats hits that first bomb to kick off the festivities?

Nothing Heals the Yankees Like the AL Central

In a world filled with so much doubt and uncertainty, it’s comforting to know that some things truly do stay the same.  While death and taxes are a bit of a drag, the Yankees’ continued domination of the AL Central is something that never fails to bring me immense joy.

For the second time this season, the Yanks ended a stretch of mediocre play by beating the brakes off the pitiful Kansas City Royals.  Wednesday Night’s 7-0 victory marks 14 straight wins against Kansas City.  This most recent dismantling officially capped off the season series in which New York outscored this “opponent” 50-10. 

Seeing “KC” on a baseball schedule represents so much more than a regular three-game stretch.  It personifies the term “get-right series”, in which wins are guaranteed to be added, and stats are guaranteed to be padded.  No matter how good or bad the Yanks are playing, you just know that in 72 short hours, the “Chase for 28” will be back on.

They should let the dorky dudes on one of those Queer Eye makeover Shows take BP against Bailey Falter and the boys to instill some much-needed confidence.  Perhaps we should consider allowing sick children the opportunity to pitch against the bottom of the Royals lineup in order to give them the strength and belief needed to overcome their terminal illnesses. 

If the sensation of beating the Royals could be taken in pill form, I fear there would be a global epidemic.

Much of this applies not just to Kansas City, but to the entirety of the AL Central.  Since 2006, the Yankees are 450-254 against this joke of a division.  That equates to .639 winning percentage, good enough for a ~103-win pace over this 20-year stretch.

The downside of this complete and utter domination is that we oftentimes leave these series thinking the team is better than it actually is.  Unfortunately, the real World Series contenders don’t play near cornfields.  While these wins are important in putting together a strong season, they are not necessarily indicative of postseason success.

That is of course unless the Yankees are fortunate enough to play one of these squads come October.  Since 2017, the Yankees have faced off against an AL Central foe seven times in the postseason.  The Yankees have won all seven series.

If you really want to put on your doomer glasses, you could say that pretty much any success this team has had over the past decade is at the expense of this band of mediocre baseball teams.

The model of beating up on bad teams and praying we draw an AL Central opponent in October keeps the fan base engaged but unfortunately has only led to one piece of hardware in the form of an AL Pennant.  This path to the 2024 World Series was of course made up exclusively of central foes.

While I constantly find myself ping-ponging between overconfident and overly cynical after these series, it’s hard to argue with the immediate impact.  The Yankees have climbed to within 1.5 games of Tampa Bay.  After this weekend’s edition of “A’s after Dark”, 6 of the team’s next 10 series are against this punching bag of a division. 

This should prevent the infamous “June Swoon” and allow the Yanks to reclaim the division lead by the All-Star Break.  Will this solve all of the team’s problems?  Of course not, but getting in position to skip the 3-game crapshoot wildcard round and hopefully match up against one of these putzes in the DS should remain the goal.

So let’s try our best to not get too high or too skeptical over this next month.  Enjoy the warm weather, hot dogs, and paper mache victories over our Middle-American friends.  Because regardless of the opposition, not all success needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

After all, that Gerrit Cole guy looked pretty good, huh?

The Yankees Can’t Keep Ignoring the Warning Signs

A brutal Subway Series collapse exposed problems the Yankees can no longer ignore

Well, we’re one day removed from suffering an early “worst loss of the season” contender at the hands of the crosstown rival, New York Mets.  If we’re being honest, it seems as though they’ve gotten the better of the Yankees in a majority of these Subway Series matchups.  While we can usually brush off a series loss in the infancy of a season with the predictable, yet lame “This is your World Series” excuse – this one just feels different. 

This is largely due to the fact that the Mets are in the midst of a season from hell.  This is an organization that watched beloved core players walk to greener pastures so they could spend Uncle Creepie’s schmeckles on aging, underperforming, hired bums.  It was only a few weeks back that this team suffered a franchise-tying 12-game losing streak which doesn’t include a separate 3-game sweeping at the hands of the vaunted Colorado Rockies.  Simply put, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong for a franchise that has had their fair share of miserably embarrassing stretches over the years.

So when Tyrone “3 for his last 32” Taylor steps up to the dish with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, there wasn’t a soul in that building that expected him to come through in the clutch.  Not only did Taylor send Bednar’s (inexplicably dumb!) first-pitch curve to Astoria, but he potentially rerouted the entire 2026 Yankees campaign in the process. 

If you get miraculously beaten by a team that was 0 for their last 91 in games they were trailing through 8 innings, what does that make you?  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but Sunday’s loss will leave a stench of “they’re gonna blow this one” on this team for the remainder of the season.

Something needs to be done about the bullpen immediately.  Last season, Bednar earned a ton of goodwill simply because he was a human being not named Devin Williams.  This year, he’s given up earned runs in 9 of his 20 appearances and has flushed all the trust he was wrongfully awarded down his parent’s Pittsburgh Potty.

Doval; the prematurely crowned “set-up man”, has been even worse.  This leaves any and all late inning pitching responsibilities in the hands of Fernando Cruz, Tim Hill, and Brent Headrick.  This trio has performed admirably, but to expect this consistency for another 115 games is equal parts unfair and moronic.

While I fully understand that teams aren’t going to easily part with bullpen arms while they remain within the clusterfuck that is the May Wild Card Race, I think it’s time to start extending godfather offers to some of the bottom feeders.  There is no room for both Jones AND Dominguez in the near or distant future.  This isn’t an easy decision by any means, but if you need to ship one of these kids off for a proven closer, make the move.

I’ll do my part and butcher whatever woodland creatures Matt Blake deems necessary to perform his black magic on this year’s class of 5.00 ERA relievers.  But I need it to happen immediately, not in July.  So, make the calls Cashman and I’ll start drawing the pentagrams.

While you’re on the line, some sort of competition at the catcher position would be nice.  Either give Escarra real reps to see if he can fill the black hole in the lineup, or get someone (ideally a righty) who can play the position.  You truly don’t know how good you have it, until you’re willing to name your first-born “Higashioka” if it meant the “Home Run Stroka” would walk through those doors.  While Volpe has served as the team’s whipping boy for the past couple of years, Wells has been equally disappointing and is equally undeserving of being penciled into his starting role.

Aside from that, we need to get our big guys back on the damn field.  The June Swoon has come a month early and scheduled PTO needs to end.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why we’re having Cole throw 90 pitches a start in “Cinco De Mayo” alternate jerseys when Rodon is up here playing wall ball with the backstop.  The team needs juice and intensity.  Let’s wrap up the purely precautionary Caballero stint, get Stanton on a yoga regiment, and cancel Cole’s next rehab start in Antelope, Oregon.

I swear that I’m not normally the suburban WFAN Caller – but when the narrative surrounding the Yankees is “they only beat bad teams” and then you get absolutely pantsed by a rival bad team, change needs to be made.  We’re looking at a month long stretch of games that starts with the Jays and Rays (obvious divisional significance), followed by a clump of teams right in the thick of AL Wild Card contention.  These games will ultimately decide who and where we’re playing come October.

Learn from years past.  Don’t let early season success and shitty American League records fool you into thinking you’re better than you are.  This weekend’s gut punch was long overdue and its time to make the necessary changes to ensure this season doesn’t end the same as the last 15.