NFL Sponsors Are Furious that the Giants forgot to Stop for Commercials

While a large majority of Americans thoroughly enjoyed the whooping my New York Giants laid on the paltry Dallas Cowboys, some of the nation’s elite took great exception to the beatdown—and I’m not talking about Jerry Jones and the rest of his reptile family.

Many of the NFL’s biggest sponsors are outraged by the lack of commercial breaks that came as a result of Big Blue’s series of eight-minute, face-fucking touchdown drives. Stretches of primetime games that typically involve a litany of punts, injury stoppages, booth reviews, and, therefore, ad breaks were replaced by the purest brand of smash-mouth football this town has seen in decades.

As a result, advertisers have filed a formal complaint with the commissioner’s office to flex the Giants out of their Monday Night contest with the Rams. Busted Playbook correspondents were able to obtain an excerpt of said letter:

“The long-sustained drives performed by the Giants offense cannot continue to occur during our nationally televised games. The physical run game, outstanding third-down conversion rate, and general dominance of time of possession prevented our largest audience of the weekend from being subjected to our redundant advertisements. Our Odell Beckham Jr. prop boost wasn’t shown once during the game, which prevented an estimated 10,000 16-year-olds from wagering their parents’ mortgage payments on a washed-up star who was sure to garner zero targets.”

The sponsors aren’t the only ones concerned. Al Michaels and his feeble prostate are extremely worried that the lack of commercial breaks will end up with the Hall of Fame broadcaster dribbling down his trousers when Big Blue plays on Thursday Night Football later this year.

As of now, it is unknown if Roger Goodell will take any official action. But many are speculating that he has already instructed officials to throw even more flags and botch more calls in an effort to slow game flow.

While it doesn’t appear that the Giants will be flexed out of the Monday Night Football slot, this situation remains something worth monitoring as the season progresses.