Well, that was embarrassing.
When given a golden opportunity to essentially put the division on ice, the New York Giants decided to play like total fucking cowards in front of their devoted, rain-soaked fans. While I was lucky enough not to be in attendance, I suspect the waterboarding endured during the tailgate was more fun than witnessing that humiliating defeat in person.
This was one of those games where you’re just begging your team to get their shit together, knowing that any stretch of competent football would be enough to beat this shitty of an opponent. Unfortunately, Big Blue somehow had enough ammo to shoot themselves in the foot for 3 consecutive hours.
While promising, our first two drives yielded 0 points after an uncharacteristic drop from Isaiah Likely and a character-defining 33-yard miss from Zvada. While Likely would more than make up for his mistake, Zvada’s shank not only proved to be the difference in the game but also served as the catalyst for several more blunders throughout the night.
Jayden Daniels did a nice job evading our defensive pressure in the first half. He was consistently able to roll to his right and find receivers on longer developing crossing routes. After accidentally tossing a TD to breakout star Ben Sinnott, JD had the Commies up 10-7 headed into the half.
As sloppy as the first half was, I truly thought it was our night after we opened the 3rd quarter with a quick defensive stop and a 5-play TD drive that literally had half of the offense doing backflips. Even after we gave the lead right back, it was apparent that Skattebo was wearing the Washington defense down and the big passing plays would soon come in bunches.
Then, just as we’re on the verge of capping off our third consecutive touchdown drive, Nabers decides to carry the ball like a fucking pizza pie, leading to costly redzone turnover.
From this point on, the Giants’ defense was absolutely lights out. They responded to each offensive fuck up with ‘would be’ game winning plays on the next 4 drives. This started by forcing a 3-and-out immediately after the Nabers fumble. The offense then marched into Washington territory, before Theo Engram Johnson dropped the 187th third-down pass of his illustrious career.
While they’re not responsible for catching the ball, Harbaugh and Nagy deserve their fair share of shit for this. We had been absolutely pounding this team with Skattebo for 3 quarters. The short week had these guys completely unwilling to meet our little mutant’s physicality. Why not trust Skatt to get you 3 yards on 2 plays in this spot? Instead, we spinelessly punt the ball into the endzone, netting a whopping 26 yards of field position.
A bad ass 4th down stop would give the ball right back to JJ, who then gave the Giants the lead by delivering a strike to Likely for a 66-yard score. The Amazon broadcast spent the whole first quarter harping on how McCarthy only throws outside the numbers and neglects the middle of the field. JJ would spend the next 3 quarters replacing blitzing linebackers with easy tosses up the seam. This adjustment got the offense back on track and was truly great to see out of McCarthy. This was an overall encouraging night out of our quarterback despite the end result.
Zvada would then boot the kickoff out of bounds, giving Washington a short field to regain the lead. But yet again, the Giant defense would pick up the slack, this time via Jevon Holland’s 4th INT of the year, this one of the goal line variety.
With a 4-point lead and just over 5 minutes to play, the objective should’ve been quite simple. Lean on our run game, bleed out the clock, and put this game to bed. After getting runs of 5 and 4 yards on 1st and 2nd down, why the fuck are we not going back to Skattebo on 3rd down to move the chains and kill another 2 minutes? We literally just made this mistake earlier this quarter!
Instead, Jameis gets stonewalled on a quarterback sneak and we’re stuck in a fourth and inches at our own 12-yard line.
Call me whatever derogatory Gen-Z name you’d like, but the decision to go for it in that situation should’ve been obvious. WORST-case scenario, you come up short on 4th down and Washington immediately goes ahead, which still leaves 3 minutes for the Giants to orchestrate a normally paced drive to tie/win the game. The BEST-case (and extremely likely) scenario is that you get the 2 inches on a tush push and have the opportunity to end the game on your own terms.
Was any of this even considered before we trotted Jameis back out there to make a total ass of himself? Sunny Styles and half that defense weren’t even born to witness the Baja Men’s 2 months of relevance. The “Who Let the Dogs Out?” cadence into ANOTHER cowardly punt officially marks the low point of a season that once felt so promising.
Somehow, someway, the defense would come up with ANOTHER interception. Surely this one would seal the victory right? RIGHT?
WRONG! Faced with ANOTHER 3rd and 3 at the edge of field goal range, Nagy dials up one of the worst blocked QB Sweeps you’ll ever see. Again…WHY NOT SKATTEBO HERE? WHY NOT GO FOR IT ON 4th DOWN? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY EXPECT YOUR DEFENSE TO COME UP WITH YET ANOTHER STOP IN THIS SITUATION?
What makes this worse is that this conservative approach would’ve been somewhat understandable if your plan was to kick the long field goal to go up 7. BUT WE’D ALREADY LOST COMPLETE FAITH IN ZVADA! YOU KNEW YOU WEREN’T KICKING A LONG FIELD GOAL, SO HOW ON GOD’S GREEN FUCKING EARTH DO YOU NOT APPROACH THIS AS FOUR DOWN TERRITORY?
Instead, Jordan Stout punts the ball 12 fucking yards and Daniels predictably marches right down the field for the eventual game winning score.
The saddest part is, even after all this dysfunction, ineptitude, and gutless decision making, the Giants STILL had a chance to win the football game with 57 seconds to go. Desperate to keep the result out of Zvada’s hands/inaccurate foot, McCarthy lobbed an extremely catchable ball up to Nabers that should’ve put the Giants in 1st and goal with 34 seconds on the clock.
The fanbase spent all week rallying behind Nabers after Greg Olsen’s non-criticism of the star, yet when offered a chance to redeem himself for his costly fumble, he gets absolutely mossed by some bummy defender I’m not sure he was even aware of.
I pray to God this serves as a wake-up call not only for Malik but for the team as a whole. They skated by Philly playing their C-Game and just lost to the Washington Fucking Commanders by playing their D-Game. If they don’t figure out the short yardage woes, kicking issues, and pussy-ass “play not to lose” mentality, then we might be in some serious shit over these next 8 weeks.
Because it’s no secret, the Giants’ schedule and road to the postseason is about to get much more difficult. Let’s hope Thursday Night’s embarrassing display is merely a bump in the road and not a potholed Jersey Turnpike to hell.
