A few weeks back, Jeff Bezos nearly ruined Halloween by failing to deliver my vial of fake blood (an essential for my ‘Vampire Malik Nabers’ costume) within the guaranteed 2-day window. Now, that slimy bald freak has cut my victory week short by thrusting the Giants into Thursday Night Football on Prime.
All I wanted to do this week was watch fan edits of Arvell Reese while contemplating whether Philly’s rebuild will outlast EDP’s looming prison sentence. Instead, I now have to watch Ryan Fitzpatrick struggle to form a cohesive thought in whatever shitty Hawaiian his wife decided to pick up from the dry cleaners.
While the timing remains inconvenient, this game does present the Giants with an opportunity to effectively eliminate a division rival in back-to-back weeks. That’s because the Commanders have somehow managed to find themselves in a more embarrassing position than when they inexplicably tied us 5 weeks ago.
Despite facing Washington twice in a 30-day span, there are some pretty significant differences between this game and the last. In the October matchup, JJ McCarthy’s sole responsibility was running that horrendous pseudo-wildcat package. Now, barring another phantom hip pain that brings him to his knees, he will assume starting quarterback duties.
We found a ton of success passing in the second half of the last game, so I’m very optimistic JJ can bounce back after an uneven effort against Philly. The Commies’ secondary remains a mess, so Nabers and Likely should win their matchups with ease. Obviously, it would be nice to have a functioning run game again, but knowing that we’re able to live out of shotgun if we need to gives me complete confidence that the Giants will score 30+ tonight.
Skattebo is back (after apparently tearing his hamstring?) and Daron Payne is out, meaning that if we can’t get yards on the ground this week, they may never come. For the record, I fully support not overpaying for Jonathan Taylor or any running back at the deadline. Our problems lie primarily up front, so giving up draft picks for a guy who will inevitably be worse than Skatt at fighting off defenders in the backfield never made sense to me.
Last time around, Jayden Daniels was completely befuddled by the blitzes he saw in the 4th quarter and OT. Given that he’ll also be without his #1 WR and RB, the focus needs to shift toward keeping his lanky ass in the pocket. QB scrambles have hurt us throughout the year, and while I understand that is part of the deal when you’re stunting as often as we are, we simply can’t have JD escaping collapsing pockets for easy 1st downs.
Aside from that, I’m really not scared of this team at all. We have more ways to score and fewer things to shut down defensively. If the coordinated ‘White Out’ generates half the energy of a Penn St. Night Game (or a Lawrence Taylor Tuesday Afternoon), the crowd will be absolutely electric, rain or shine.
There’s nothing else to do other than sit back, relax, call my dad and walk him through finding the game on Prime, and watch as the New York Football Giants continue to march toward their first division title in 15 years.
