Nothing Heals the Yankees Like the AL Central

In a world filled with so much doubt and uncertainty, it’s comforting to know that some things truly do stay the same.  While death and taxes are a bit of a drag, the Yankees’ continued domination of the AL Central is something that never fails to bring me immense joy.

For the second time this season, the Yanks ended a stretch of mediocre play by beating the brakes off the pitiful Kansas City Royals.  Wednesday Night’s 7-0 victory marks 14 straight wins against Kansas City.  This most recent dismantling officially capped off the season series in which New York outscored this “opponent” 50-10. 

Seeing “KC” on a baseball schedule represents so much more than a regular three-game stretch.  It personifies the term “get-right series”, in which wins are guaranteed to be added, and stats are guaranteed to be padded.  No matter how good or bad the Yanks are playing, you just know that in 72 short hours, the “Chase for 28” will be back on.

They should let the dorky dudes on one of those Queer Eye makeover Shows take BP against Bailey Falter and the boys to instill some much-needed confidence.  Perhaps we should consider allowing sick children the opportunity to pitch against the bottom of the Royals lineup in order to give them the strength and belief needed to overcome their terminal illnesses. 

If the sensation of beating the Royals could be taken in pill form, I fear there would be a global epidemic.

Much of this applies not just to Kansas City, but to the entirety of the AL Central.  Since 2006, the Yankees are 450-254 against this joke of a division.  That equates to .639 winning percentage, good enough for a ~103-win pace over this 20-year stretch.

The downside of this complete and utter domination is that we oftentimes leave these series thinking the team is better than it actually is.  Unfortunately, the real World Series contenders don’t play near cornfields.  While these wins are important in putting together a strong season, they are not necessarily indicative of postseason success.

That is of course unless the Yankees are fortunate enough to play one of these squads come October.  Since 2017, the Yankees have faced off against an AL Central foe seven times in the postseason.  The Yankees have won all seven series.

If you really want to put on your doomer glasses, you could say that pretty much any success this team has had over the past decade is at the expense of this band of mediocre baseball teams.

The model of beating up on bad teams and praying we draw an AL Central opponent in October keeps the fan base engaged but unfortunately has only led to one piece of hardware in the form of an AL Pennant.  This path to the 2024 World Series was of course made up exclusively of central foes.

While I constantly find myself ping-ponging between overconfident and overly cynical after these series, it’s hard to argue with the immediate impact.  The Yankees have climbed to within 1.5 games of Tampa Bay.  After this weekend’s edition of “A’s after Dark”, 6 of the team’s next 10 series are against this punching bag of a division. 

This should prevent the infamous “June Swoon” and allow the Yanks to reclaim the division lead by the All-Star Break.  Will this solve all of the team’s problems?  Of course not, but getting in position to skip the 3-game crapshoot wildcard round and hopefully match up against one of these putzes in the DS should remain the goal.

So let’s try our best to not get too high or too skeptical over this next month.  Enjoy the warm weather, hot dogs, and paper mache victories over our Middle-American friends.  Because regardless of the opposition, not all success needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

After all, that Gerrit Cole guy looked pretty good, huh?

The Yankees Can’t Keep Ignoring the Warning Signs

A brutal Subway Series collapse exposed problems the Yankees can no longer ignore

Well, we’re one day removed from suffering an early “worst loss of the season” contender at the hands of the crosstown rival, New York Mets.  If we’re being honest, it seems as though they’ve gotten the better of the Yankees in a majority of these Subway Series matchups.  While we can usually brush off a series loss in the infancy of a season with the predictable, yet lame “This is your World Series” excuse – this one just feels different. 

This is largely due to the fact that the Mets are in the midst of a season from hell.  This is an organization that watched beloved core players walk to greener pastures so they could spend Uncle Creepie’s schmeckles on aging, underperforming, hired bums.  It was only a few weeks back that this team suffered a franchise-tying 12-game losing streak which doesn’t include a separate 3-game sweeping at the hands of the vaunted Colorado Rockies.  Simply put, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong for a franchise that has had their fair share of miserably embarrassing stretches over the years.

So when Tyrone “3 for his last 32” Taylor steps up to the dish with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, there wasn’t a soul in that building that expected him to come through in the clutch.  Not only did Taylor send Bednar’s (inexplicably dumb!) first-pitch curve to Astoria, but he potentially rerouted the entire 2026 Yankees campaign in the process. 

If you get miraculously beaten by a team that was 0 for their last 91 in games they were trailing through 8 innings, what does that make you?  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but Sunday’s loss will leave a stench of “they’re gonna blow this one” on this team for the remainder of the season.

Something needs to be done about the bullpen immediately.  Last season, Bednar earned a ton of goodwill simply because he was a human being not named Devin Williams.  This year, he’s given up earned runs in 9 of his 20 appearances and has flushed all the trust he was wrongfully awarded down his parent’s Pittsburgh Potty.

Doval; the prematurely crowned “set-up man”, has been even worse.  This leaves any and all late inning pitching responsibilities in the hands of Fernando Cruz, Tim Hill, and Brent Headrick.  This trio has performed admirably, but to expect this consistency for another 115 games is equal parts unfair and moronic.

While I fully understand that teams aren’t going to easily part with bullpen arms while they remain within the clusterfuck that is the May Wild Card Race, I think it’s time to start extending godfather offers to some of the bottom feeders.  There is no room for both Jones AND Dominguez in the near or distant future.  This isn’t an easy decision by any means, but if you need to ship one of these kids off for a proven closer, make the move.

I’ll do my part and butcher whatever woodland creatures Matt Blake deems necessary to perform his black magic on this year’s class of 5.00 ERA relievers.  But I need it to happen immediately, not in July.  So, make the calls Cashman and I’ll start drawing the pentagrams.

While you’re on the line, some sort of competition at the catcher position would be nice.  Either give Escarra real reps to see if he can fill the black hole in the lineup, or get someone (ideally a righty) who can play the position.  You truly don’t know how good you have it, until you’re willing to name your first-born “Higashioka” if it meant the “Home Run Stroka” would walk through those doors.  While Volpe has served as the team’s whipping boy for the past couple of years, Wells has been equally disappointing and is equally undeserving of being penciled into his starting role.

Aside from that, we need to get our big guys back on the damn field.  The June Swoon has come a month early and scheduled PTO needs to end.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why we’re having Cole throw 90 pitches a start in “Cinco De Mayo” alternate jerseys when Rodon is up here playing wall ball with the backstop.  The team needs juice and intensity.  Let’s wrap up the purely precautionary Caballero stint, get Stanton on a yoga regiment, and cancel Cole’s next rehab start in Antelope, Oregon.

I swear that I’m not normally the suburban WFAN Caller – but when the narrative surrounding the Yankees is “they only beat bad teams” and then you get absolutely pantsed by a rival bad team, change needs to be made.  We’re looking at a month long stretch of games that starts with the Jays and Rays (obvious divisional significance), followed by a clump of teams right in the thick of AL Wild Card contention.  These games will ultimately decide who and where we’re playing come October.

Learn from years past.  Don’t let early season success and shitty American League records fool you into thinking you’re better than you are.  This weekend’s gut punch was long overdue and its time to make the necessary changes to ensure this season doesn’t end the same as the last 15.